Peer Review by PurplePanache (United Arab Emirates)()

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Slow

By: JCWriter


FREE WRITING

Night hums,
    though no one listens;
She dances,
    but all the lights are on and
    no one sees;
She sings and cries a little,
    for come morning they look only for the
    sunrise,
    rejoicing for the dawn but never
    mourning the disappearing dark.

Night listens,
    hearing all that Day forgets;
She watches,
    seeing all the beauty,
    sadness, wonder, hope
    the noon is blind to;
She catches tears
    for those who cry alone
    into the shadows.


Peer Review

The subtle dance this poem performs in the quarters of your mind is indeed the most beautiful thing about it. Thoughts transition from one to another so flawlessly- evidently drawn by a poet of high calibre and skill.


The only suggestion I would like to extend is that you work on the phrasing of the last line. Reading the rest of the work, you cleary are a genius. The last line is, however, only above-average!


Reviewer Comments

This is gorgeous. I am in a daze. Thank you for writing this.

Keep Writing
xx