Zixdude

United States of America

Well, I'm male. I laugh. I know God. But more importantly for you,
I make my own music,
I code my own games,

I write my own stories--
and that's why I'm here. I have lots to say, and this is the place to say it.

Message to Readers

Fourth publishment. Hope you enjoy!

Top 26 Most Useless Letters

November 29, 2019

FREE WRITING

4
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

First on death row:
C, Q, W, X, and Y.

The #1 most useless letter is: X.
"X" is absolutely pointless today. If you just replace "X" with "ks", which are more common letters, then you don't need "X". I hear you saying "but what about xylophone? We can't call it a ckylophone!" Ok. Sure. But there's an easy solution: use "Z"! Spell it "zylophone"! Who would give a hoot if it was spelled that way? It's less confusing!

The quick brown foks jumps over the lazy dog.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWYZ

The #2 most useless letter is: C.
"C" loves to imitate other letters. It steals the credit from these letters and uses it for itself. And it's confusing! "C" either makes the same sound as "K" or "S". Wouldn't it be wonderful if we didn't have to memorize what "C" meant in each word it's used in? If you just replace "C" with either "K" or "S", depending on what the word is, then it would be so much easier to read!

The quik brown foks jumps over the lazy dog.

ABDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWYZ

The #3 most useless letter is: Q.
Do you remember kindergarten, when you were all taught that "Q" makes the "kwuh" sound? IT'S A LIE! "Q" makes the "K" sound. Don't believe me? Well, let's take the words "quail", "queen", and "queso". If you replase the "Q"s with "K"s, then they are STILL READABLE! Look: "kuail", "kueen", and "kueso". It still has the same sound! So why is "Q" here? It's useless!

The kuik brown foks jumps over the lazy dog.

ABDEFGHIJKLMNOPRSTUVWYZ

The #4 most useless letter is: Y.
"Y" is little bit harder to replase, but it's still useless. Y is supposed to be either a vowel or a konsonant, but that makes no sense. "Y" still makes the same sound whether it's konsidered a vowel or not! In the words "why" and "yellow", "Y" always makes the "I" sound! If you replase "Y" with "I", then it would still work to a degree: "whi". "iellow". Sure, it looks a little bit strange. But if it was gone long enough, then everyone would get used to it and forget about "Y". It's useless.

The kuik brown foks jumps over the lazi dog.

ABDEFGHIJKLMNOPRSTUVWZ

The #5 most useless letter is: W.
The onli reason "W" isn't more useless than "Y" is bekause it isn't as konfusing. At least "W" alwais makes the same sound. But then, it's even easier to replase! "W" alwais makes the same sounds "O" does. Again, like "Y", it looks a bit off, but eeou kould spell without "W": "ouater", "pillo", and "ouillo". Things mai look weird with all these janges, but after getting used to it, it still works!

The kuik broun foks jumps over te lazi dog.

ABDEFGHIJKLMNOPRSTUVZ

Nou, oui onli have to spell ouith 21 letters. The follouing letters ouere mush harder to joose. Aniouei:

The #6 most useless letter is: H.
At least "H" has a distinkt sound. It has kredit for that. Houever, out of the remaining letters, "H" has to go nekst. "H" is the hardest letter to hear, so it deserves to be dropped. Sometimes, the "H" isn't even pronounsed, so it is easi to drop this instead of other letters uij are more konsistent.

Te kuik broun foks jumps over te lazi dog.

ABDEFGIJKLMNOPRSTUVZ

Tese nekst feou letters are just softer versions of oter letters, so tei ave to go nekst:

Te #7 most useless letter is: Z.
"Z" is te least kommon letter. Eeou mae notise tat it sounds a lot like "S". Terefore, if ouee replase "Z" ouit "S", tere uon't be mus of a sakrifise. Englis looks veri strange nou as is, so if "zoo" sounds like "soo" instead, it ouill not look out of plase.

Te kuik broun foks jumps over te lasi dog.

ABDEFGIJKLMNOPRSTUV

Te #8 most useless letter is: V.
Just keep on saving off te last fiu letters of te alpabet, rigt? Like "Z" is te softer version of "S", "V" is te softer version of "F". Additionalli, "V" is te most unkommon letter of all te "soft version" letters, so it is best to give tis one up nou.

Te kuik broun foks jumps ofer te lasi dog.

ABDEFGIJKLMNOPRSTU

Te #9 most useless letter is: B.
Tis is te first letter ouere I'm beginning to feel bad about ekskluding, but "B" is just a softer fersion of "P". So out of all te letters to eksklude, "B" is not muj to lose.

Te kuik proun foks jumps ofer te lasi dog.

ADEFGIJKLMNOPRSTU

Te #10 most useless letter is: D.
Tis remofal ouill urt te understanding of Englis a lot, put "D" is a lot less kommon tan "T", its ard ekuifalent. Sadli, it is nekst.

Te kuik proun foks jumps ofer te lasi tog.

AEFGIJKLMNOPRSTU

Te #11 most useless letter is: G.
Sinse "G" is just te soft fersion of "C" (afen't seen tat one in a ouile), ant sinse it is efen less kommon tan "D", so it makes sense to remofe tis letter as te last "soft" letter. "K" ouill replase it.

Te kuik proun foks jumps ofer te lasi tok.

AEFIJKLMNOPRSTU

At tis point, joosin ani letter ouill siknifikantli urt. On te oter ant, oui are almost alfuei tere, so tat's koot. Ouefer, tere is still one letter tat is pi far more eliminaple tan te rest:

Te #12 most useless letter is: P.
"P" ant "F" afe te most similar sounts of all te remainin letters. Also, sinse "P" is less kommon tan "F", it uon't afe as pik a tiferense. Still, tis ouill not afe a koot effekt on tese sentenses.

Te kuik froun foks jumfs ofer te lasi tok.

AEFIJKLMNORSTU

Te #13 most useless letter is: E.
Tis mai sufrise eeou, fekause "E" is te most kommon letter. Fut te reason I am remofin it nou is fekause "E" toes not afe ani unikue sounts. All kases in ouij "E" is uset, oter letters kan fe sufstitutet.

Ta kuik froun foks jumfs ofr ta lasi tok.

AFIJKLMNORSTU

Ta #14 most usiliss littr is: M.
Ir is ouair uorts fikin to lus minin. Fai riiflasin all "M"s ouit "N"s, all uorts usin ta littr "M" ouill fikum almost unrikoknaisafl. Oui af to ko somuair.

Ta kuik froun foks junfs ofr ta lasi tok.

AFIJKLNORSTU

Ta #15 nost usiliss littr is: L.
Alto it nai fi kint of rasist, it is kuait konfiniant to us "R" instit of "L". It is a lissr sakrifais konfart to otr ilininations.

Ta kuik froun foks junfs ofr ta rasi tok.

AFIJKNORSTU

Ta #16 nost usiriss rittr is: U.
Raik "E", "U" tos not af a unik sount. It kan fii rifraist ouit "O", no nattr ouat sount it naiks.

Ta koik fron foks jonfs ofr ta rasi tok.

AFIJKNORST

Ta #17 nost ioosriss rittr is: J.
Tis niit arso fi a fit rasist, fot ta rittr "J" kan fi frononst rik sooiits, as in "ja". I sot af sosin "I" to ko irlir, I nost konfiss.

Ta koik fron foks ionfs ofr ta rasi tok.

AFIKNORST

Ta #18 nost ioosriss rittr is: R.
Ninii fritis sfiikirs in iinkrant riif ot tis littr ooin frononsin ooirts. Tirfor, it soot fii trofft nikst.

Ta koik faon foks ionfs ofi ta iaisi tok.

AFIKNOST

Ta #19 nost iosiiss itti is: F.
Inkis is noo fiont afsoit. Tai is no ooai ioo kan stii iit tis fiis. Oai to I kontinioo?

Ta koik aoon oks iions ooi ta iaisi tok.

AIKNOST

Ta #20 nost iosiiss itti is: N.
Ioo a no itia ooat I'n ootin naisii to.

Ta koik ao oks ios ooi ta iaisi tok.

AIKOST

Ta #21 ost iosiss itti is: K.
O oos i taii to osi aiti.

Ta oi ao os ios ooi ta iaisi ta.

AIOST.

Ta #22 ost iosiss itti is: A.
Ao ao ta iio saiisis.

Ti oi o os ios ooi ti iisi to.

IOST.

Ti #23 ost iosiss itti is: I.
It iist tis sti sot.

To o o os os oo to oso to.

OST.

To #24 os ososs otto os: T.
o so to so oo o.

So o o os oo so oso so.

OS.

So #25 os ososs oso os: S.
Os o o so?

O oo oo o o oo o oo o.

O

O #26 o oo o o: O.
Oo oo o o.

It's over. Holy cow, it's over. And now I can use all the letters I want! It feels so good!!!!! I feel free!!!! I can actually type whatever without having to think about it! I can use all the letters! I can use English again! YES!!! XD I actually feel sooo good right now now that I'm done writing this... ah... now I just have to check to see if I used any letters that were already eliminated...

That took a while. But yeah, here are all the letters from most useless to most useful:

X, C, Q, Y, W, H, Z, V, B, D, G, P, E, M, L, U, J, R, F, N, K, A, I, T, S, O.

I hope you enjoyed this.
This has ended up being my longest piece ever, I think. It may be the one I've put the most effort into, too. This piece slowly made me die inside. By the tenth letter, I was depressed, and it only got worse. Congrats to "O", though!

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3 Comments
  • N.

    "This piece slowly made me die inside." XD


    10 months ago
  • Erica Lees-Smith

    Wow this is seriously amazing, great job :)


    10 months ago
  • pencils.and.paper.roses

    I loved this the first time you posted it and I still love it XD

    O ooooo oooo oo ooooooooo OO


    10 months ago