Peer Review by Suri Purefoy (United States)

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By: Raiquia


Jump first into the pit of dreams
Hoping to find something there
But hope is not enough to see
A future of just you and me

Tired of relentlessly
pursing love and care
Exhausted of reality
pushing us apart

It's easier to give up
than walk with our heads high
it's easier to forget it all
what you had by my side.

Dive in real deep
into the world of noise and see
there is no place i'd rather be
than beside you when i sleep

But i know it is just a fleeting dream
when i see you fading away from me.
Running towards a different day
Reality engulfs me in it's tracks. 

And i know that i'm not crazy,
to think that i caught you. 
To see that i once kissed your lips 
and fell in love with you. 

Regret is not enough to say 
how much i miss you.
but i'm sure you will look back at today
and be glad you made the decision.

You were my light 
You were my day
But nothing lasts forever.

Thank you for your love you made
me the happiest person ever.

As i watch you slowly walk away
I close my eyes and feel the wind
Brush me away into the darkness and
bringing me back to reality. 

Message to Readers

For the special one who broke my heart.

Peer Review

"But I know it's just a fleeting dream". This is a beautiful and profound line!


You are really good! (This is a statement, not a question)

Reviewer Comments

Your way of writing and showing the relationship and feeling of the character are very, very real. Great job on this piece!