Peer Review by Aarushikrishnan (United States)

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What I saw in the stars...

By: purplepanache


PROMPT: State of Awe

 
Twinkle Twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky
 
Mama read the rhyme out again and again. Little Imani felt safe in these words. They soothed her, they drew her close. And didn’t they smell wonderful? They smelled like warm chocolate, or even a little like the bakery across town and her favorite coffee-cake pastry.
On that drowsy evening, as the sun dipped lower into the horizon and as her shadow melted away into the blackness of the night, Imani had made her first discovery. That the words she creaked into the rough of her chalkboard, the words that Miss Balewa bellowed into the soft of her five year old skin, the words she whispered to the moon when they had sleepless nights together-the words were indeed beautiful.

This moment spurred an awe which still burns...

Peer Review

I like the line I highlighted the most! The heavy imagery does wonders for the piece.


I love the way its written now, with half-uncovered details and secret worlds. Honestly, I wouldn't change a thing.


Reviewer Comments

This piece felt wonderful to read. You have a beautiful skill, and it hypnotized me, drawing me further and further into your mysterious mind.