Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
This was originally for Paperbird's contest, but I misread the deadline. It's my first attempt at an allegory-type story, so I'd still love to hear what you all think of it!
I liked the fact that in such little time and with so little words you grabbed my attantion and suddenly I was invested in the story and very interested to see what would happen to the young queen.
I was a bit confused with the way you ended it. Are you trying to say that this queen is one of those rich people? Because if so it doesnt make much sense that this queen who is so good to her people and doesnt steal from them would be worried about her possesions. I got the impression that she was worried about her people and she didnt want to leave them. Especially in a time of crisis she still wanted to know what she could do to help, not flee, and honestly I find that very brave.
I like the way you bundled it all up. It was just enough information to keep you slightly in the dark and excited to keep reading. But also it was enough that it can stand alone. (I really struggle with the length of my stories!) Well done!