Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
DO NOT COMMENT ON MY PIECES ASKING FOR A SPECIFIC SERIES. I WILL WORK ON IT WHEN I HAVE THE INSPIRATION. I DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING. BE. PATIENT.
I'd LOVE to know what happens next! You give us just a hint of what's to happen/already happening, to get us all enthralled and curious with the ending! Great ramp-up! =)
You have so many enticing words/phrases in here: "Pique even ended up having a son" (leading us to conclude that it was a long time in coming, and there were maybe complications, hopes/dreams mingled in with that?) "claiming he'd be a great king someday" (Ahh...but will he be??) "The kingdom was thriving." (Sensing a "but"...) You give us just enough details to get curious. ;) Which was masterfully done, if I do say so myself. :D The only thing I'd like to know more of would be the things you write about in this series! So write on, my good fellow. :)
Well-written! This is short, but a great excerpt. :) Way-to-go piquing my curiosity! :)