Peer Review by The Dreamer (South Africa)

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Anna's Lab

By: mvskan


Anna walked into her laboratory and abandoned her satchel on the ground beside her ginormous compscreen. It was off and she could see her untidy lab through its transparent glass. She powered it on and took a seat on her chair.

Her bright white lab was actually filled with old technology compared to the gadgets of the New World. She knew about the technology of the Old World and how decrepit it was.

Compared to that time, her lab was much better off. But it was still not good enough. Her funding had been cut off five lives ago because of all the botched results.

She flipped her hair over her shoulder stared at the display in front of her. Her violet face was staring back at her. It was Hon 5 of Year 6829.

Finally.

This meant that her test subject from 800 hours ago was going to be ready for examination soon.

Anna was a scientist whose work was human mutation technology. She had finally succeeded in creating a mixture that she believed could turn humans into flying objects. She was convinced that it would work on her test subject, Denis. He was serving a 70000 Hon sentence for the destruction of three badgepeople.

She had to wait another three hours before removing him from his sleep-like state. She could barely contain herself! All six of her lives had been contributed to perfecting this technology. Many of her test subjects had met a grim fate and there had been countless failures.

She decided to reread her notes from her failed experiments in the free-time she had. She had to remind herself of all the efforts, and all of the passion that she had put in her work. If this failed yet again then she could not forget that and give up.

Sometimes, she felt inadequate because of all of the failures. All of her classmates were on different planets now. And here she was, still stuck on Planet Number One and working on a technology that may not even be feasible.

She was so engrossed in her reading that it was time before she knew it.

She approached the cell that contained Denis' body.

Before she could do anything, there was a loud bang on the door of her lab that startled her. Another thud followed, this time louder. Slowly, the noise grew in volume and frequency. It wasn't long before someone was trying to break down the door.

She was frozen in her tracks. She didn't understand what was happening and she was terrified.

Before she could even react, the door was bashed in by a powerful force and fell on the ground.

A badgeperson stood on the other side with a large weapon she had never seen before pointed right at her.

"Madam Anna! Put your hands in the air!" the person hollered.

She did not move.

"Please put your hands in the air or I will shoot!" the person warned.

What was going on?


Message to Readers

I would love to know how I can improve my writing. Please give me any feedback you have. I am very open-minded and I want to know your exact thoughts so I can become a better writer. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this!


Peer Review

The futuristic references.


By giving her anxiety and doubt.


No not really. It is fine just the way it is.


The description of the setting was good.


You created a really good atmisphere and storyline. Please keep writing!


Reviewer Comments

It was a great story and still has me wondering. Please write a second piece! I need to know the rest of the story!