Peer Review by A Breath Into Silence (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


DEEP DOWN ON THE WAY TO HEAVEN

By: Ryder


FREE WRITING


    Deep down in the dungeons
    In the castle of the king,
    There was a man
    And I heard him sing,

    ‘Come, come, be not afraid
    when death comes down to get you,
    Just look ahead
    and see what is in your view,

    Can you see the stairway?
    leading up and through the sky,
    Can you see Him the Lord?
    Kneel down and glorify,

    He says unto me ‘drink’
    ‘For it is free’
    And I answer ‘Lord mighty’
    ‘I am with thee.’

     This poem is set in the 13th century, during the crusades of  Pope Innocent III, in the dungeon of Alexios III Angelos. A guard over hears the dying words of a captive soldier.

Peer Review

The way you used a rhyme-scheme to better convey the time period! It was fun and well-done.


As I mentioned in a comment at the bottom, we never learn who says the last stanza, so I would love for a clarification on that! Otherwise, I think this poem is pretty complete.


Reviewer Comments

This was a sweet poem that was a lot of fun to read!