Peer Review by cinnamonrollee (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


Story Of My Life

By: Micheals


Every child gets to live in their own world of fantasies,well I was one of those children but my life took a turn for the worst a few years later.

My name is Sanele Sithole I was born in Soweto, Baragwanath Hospital,on the 6th of March 2002.
My parents said I was different from my brother and sister because my hair was orange and I was too white, they thought that I would grow up and become an albino, it shocked me at first but I grew up not to be one.Not that I don't love them, they are very special people who just have lack of pigment.

I may say that my life began when I first set my foot in the gates of Melpark Primary School.When I entered it was like a whole new world for me,I didn't have any friends at first because I was a shy little boy,scared of people and never like to be in a place that was crowded,because I have never been near too much people.So when they left me inside the class which I was supposed to be in,I cried and the other kids started to laugh at me,that led me into crying so much that they had to call my patents to co!e and fetch me.
The following day I told my mom that I didn't want to go to school because the other children were laughing at me and she just said "Don't worry they won't laugh at you this time,I'm sure it was like that on their first day of school." I looked at her and started to feel happy,and wanted to go to school with a smile on my face.

So as I started schooling there,I started making friends and my best friend was Khethokuhle meaning "pick good" he was my best friend, and we used to do everything together,when I had a party I would invite him over and if he had sleepovers he would invite me, he was the best friend that I ever had until one tragic day, when we were coming out of school and we were about to cross on the scholar patrol,a van came out of nowhere and hit him so hard that I thought he was dead,the teachers came and stopped the van from speeding away from the scene. That day I didn't believe that I nearly lost my friend.

My life started to take a turn for the worst when my mom decided that I should change schools,at first I was angry at here because she moved me from my best friend I didn't want to talk to her.Then things got a bit out of control in my life,through the traumatic event that happened in my life seeing my friend nearly die in front of me, I developed a habit of stealing,in the house I would steal coins from my moms purse because I thought that was how I was getting back at her for making me change schools,I didn't know that it was not hurting her but I was hurting me.
So I started actually liking the school she put me in because I met my cousin Sandile who is my best friend, brother and my advisor he was great because he started to become like my old friend Khethokuhle we had fun at that school and began to forgive my mother for what she done.The teachers were like my second parents my favorite of them all was my teacher mam Lizzie she was kind and loving towards all the learners.
Years went by at St John Berchmans Primary and I started getting used to it,and made some new friends and I met a girl named Tshegofatso meaning "gift", she and I became best of friends and I started developing feelings for this girl before I had to chance schools again.

My mom saw that it was best if I went to live with my aunt in 2015, the hatred started again she didn't know that my hatred had risen again, in my heart I was happy that I was going to live with my aunt but I had left my friends behind again.
Life began for me with my aunt and cousin the schools around there were great, I met new friends whose names were Katlego,Mmakgabo and Simingaye.These people were my new best friends, my world stated to get together when II started high school because I met a girl named Khanyiso meaning" light" her and I started a beautiful relationship, because I had never met someone who understood me better than any other person.It was like I had met my other half because it's like we came from the same backgrounds.
There were times where we used to fight like married couples and our friends couldn't believe it.
My world began to fall apart when


Message to Readers

Tell me what you think about it


Peer Review

The opening sentence -- "Every child gets to live in their own world of fantasies" really drew me in. It's a very interesting way of starting a novel.


They actually provide facts about the character's backstory. For example, Sanele was born in Soweto on the 6th of March, 2002, and he is afraid of people and crowded spaces. That really rounds out his character.


Why did his mother want him to switch schools the first time?


Yes, the author tells us the setting right at the beginning, and they do it really well, too. Judging from the details, I assume that this book is set in South Africa. Correct me if I am wrong.


You're doing so well! Try adding more periods instead of commas (don't worry, I do that too!), and check your punctuation. A good way of editing your work is checking for COPS: Capitalization, Organization, Punctuation, Spelling. Awesome work so far!


Reviewer Comments

I like the tense relationship between the protagonist and the mother! Great job with that.