Peer Review by AbigailSauble (United States)

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Alley

By: Zixdude


PROMPT: Turned to Stone

"Do you want to know a secret?" a low voice breathed into the ear of the victim under that dark skyline.

The figure withdrew from his ear and motionlessly produced a screwdriver.

"It will fix you beyond any pain on this planet."

Breathlessly the victim turned to meet the hooded figure's veiled eyes. The victim receded, facing the man. 

And desperately, the victim screamed, eyes wide, "PLEASE!"

A whirlwind obscured the subject and savior, and when the wind died and the blur clarified, an empty sidewalk shone clean from city grime.
 


Message to Readers

What's next? Huh?


Peer Review

I'm not exactly sure, to be honest...
But I guess, I would say that this is about an anonymous 'savior'?
It's not exactly clear.


The spoken words. I know that there isn't a whole lot of that in here, but ... it was really the only part that I could completely understand.


The first sentence. I picture them to be under a bridge maybe, at night, in a cityscape. But really, I'm still a little perplexed. ;)


Dark, frantic. You could really improve the mood, though, if you use more describing words, and clear up the scene a little bit. :)


Honestly...I'm a little confused. It was really hard to picture the scene. This has, however, a ton of potential. Just try to clear it up a bit and describe it better. :)


Reviewer Comments

Great job! Keep going!!
God bless!