Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
I'm re publishing this because I want to improve this story, and maybe make it a series
The beginning draws me in the most. There's a lot of suspense about what happened that causes everyone to reject Alice, and I wouldn't have minded waiting even longer for the reveal.
Alice feels real through her emotions and compassion for her students. I'd like to know more about what she's thinking during the elephant toothpaste experiment. Is she confident that nothing will go wrong? Is she freaking out thinking she'll have another student like Harper?
There's nothing here that I think really needs to be expanded for this excerpt, but I would love a continuation of what happens next.
I picture this happening in a rich area where all the schools are pretentious and Alice is just trying to fit back in. More descriptions of Mrs. Blois' school would make this world more clear.
You've created a story that's got me hooked! It would work as a stand-alone short story, but can also be continued if you choose to. I'm glad we're review partners!
There are a few spots that could be made clearer and a few typos, but overall, I would choose to read more if this was a book I picked up.