TCG Player, Always Off-Pitch, and Uses Way Too Many Writing Tropes for their Own Good.

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Message to Readers

Simply: what would you like to know more about the characters and their relationship? Keeping in mind that this is an extract so not everything will be covered, but more of what I should make is covered throughout.

"Made to Be Broken" - Extract.

November 19, 2018

    Jeremy was halfway across the lot when a familiar hand firmly grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. "What do you want?", he replied brusquely, his glance tilted upward to meet his significantly taller assailant.

    "We need to talk."

    "Please just fucking go away," Jeremy gritted his teeth, the sleeve of his leather jacket whipping away Ryan’s arm before crossing his own, scanning the distant cliques of classmates they may have seen them together. He couldn't afford that right now.

    "Denying it doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen. When you kissed me that at prom, I…" Ryan pursed his lips as he struggled to get the words out. "I thought you were with Claire. I didn’t know that you felt that way."

    Jeremy immediately became livid at the mere mention of the incident, instinctively balling his fits up in stymied anger in preparation for a punch as he emphasised,  "Felt. Not anymore. I’m cured now. It may have taken a week of living hell, but it’s finally gone. Poof." Jeremy's stare hardened, "I have nothing more to say to you, so why don't you just screw off back to your prancing fairy theatre club with your horde of ditzy girls."

    Ryan flinched slightly but held fast, "I’m not here to judge your, frankly, terrible life choices, but both you and I know that’s complete bullshit - it's not something that can be cured."

    Jeremy snarled back, his usual baritone dropping low in rage, "I am living proof that it did, so I don’t give a flying fuck about - "

    "Fine." Ryan swept his hand into a raised fist to cut off his ranting audience of one. "Live in denial all you want. Look, I know you don't want to be seen around me right now, so if you would just shut up and listen, this could all finish a lot quicker." Jeremy fell silent, his eyebrows raised high as if daring Ryan to speak, his fits clenched in preparation.

    Ryan shuffled around in his sneakers, scuffing them against the gravel as he mustered up the courage to say, "When you kissed me that night, I’ll admit…that I thought it was quite nice, and I couldn’t place why exactly I felt that way." A wistful flicker crossed his usually stoic face as he continued, "Somewhere along the way from you being a jackass to you being less of a jackass, you grew on me in a way that I can’t quite explain."

    "Eventually I realised…" Ryan took in a deep breath, anticipation creeping up his throat, dusting off his jeans as he readied himself to speak. "I think I like you, Jeremy. I've probably spent as much time thinking about it as you have, and I don't want what we've had, what we have to end."

    The words got stuck in Jeremy's throat as he forced out, "Please hurry up and wrap up your dramatic monologue, showman. I’ve got places to be," the slightly raised pitch of his voice betraying his seemingly throwaway tone as he struggled to not turn away, his muscle shirt suddenly feeling a little too tight.

    Ryan elaborated, "Look, this was never going to be easy for either of us, regardless of what happens between us; we’re going to spend our whole lives being discriminated against, and there’ll be no one to protect us but ourselves." Ryan waved his hands, gesturing to the seemingly far-away crowds of students, "But I don't care what they all think. All I know is that I might as well be happy being myself."

    Reaching back to scratch his back of his neck, slightly shaking his mop of blonde hair, Ryan then muttered out, "So, uh, I'd really like to be your boyfriend. If you’re okay with that," the corners of his mouth turning up into a genuine yet apologetic smile as he fumbled over those last few words.

    For a good while, Jeremy just stood there, trying to process what he just heard. Was he... asking him out? That couldn’t be it, because how could someone whom he had picked on, slammed into lockers, pushed onto the ground, ever feel that way about him?  No, Jeremy thought to himself, he's just saying this to try and get in your head, lure you in with his false promises, and abandon you once the world is against you. Exactly as you had done…

    For a brief moment he let himself imagine, released the small, suppressed figment that just wanted to take a leap of faith and accept, that they could somehow weather the consequences together. And then Jeremy found the words to respond. “No. No, no, no, no, no, you don’t. I don’t like you, and you don’t like me back, in any way, shape or form. Because I am Jeremy, I am the king of this school, and you’re just some pathetic, worthless piece of forgotten trash that no one actually cares about,” his voice swelling in anger and hatred with every word, rising into a crescendo. “You may be fine being a cocksucker, but I’m not, and I will not have you dragging me through the mud with shit like yourself,” his words morphing into a vehement snarl.

    “And you know what, some things have changed, but some things will always stay the same. I am, and will always be, better than you,” he jabbed at Ryan, forcefulness punctuating every word. “And that is why this,” he stomped down in the space in front of them, “this is never going to be a thing.”

    Just as Jeremy prepared to march off, another thought popped into his mind, a look of malice crossing his face, “On the bright side, you won’t have to tell anyone you’re a fucking faggot: I already did that for you. No thank you? Fine. Scram, you piece of shit,” forcefully spitting out every word.  

    And with that, Jeremy turned away, his heavy footsteps thundering across the ground as ran off, leaving a wordless Ryan behind him.
Extract from the ending of my story-in-progress, "Made to Be Broken", set in 1970s Texas. The story essentially follows both main characters, Ryan and Jeremy, in their junior year of high school, and the formation of their relationship with each other.


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1 Comment
  • Opal Drop

    Hello stormguard798. I am partnered with you for this month's review process, in the Corner Club. We have to review 4 of each other's pieces. Would you like me to review any certain ones? Looking forward to working with you!

    over 2 years ago