stormguard798

Singapore

TCG Player, Always Off-Pitch, and Uses Way Too Many Writing Tropes for their Own Good.

Find me on Wattpad, AO3, Tumblr and Twitter with the same handle to chat about...anything, really? Just don't be mean. :P

Message to Readers

What you're interested to find out about the two characters here and their relationship. Obviously, it'll be difficult to fit everything in such a short extract, but I'll try my best to fill in any holes in understanding.

"Made to Be Broken" - Extract.

November 16, 2018

    He was halfway to the bus stop when a hand firmly grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. "What do you want?" Jeremy thrusted his chin out to meet his assailant.

    "We need to talk."

    "We don’t have anything to talk about. So fucking go away." Jeremy gritted his teeth, swiping away Ryan’s arm, before crossing his own, scanning the pathway for anyone that might have spotted them together.

    "Not talking about it doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen. When you kissed me that night, and I…" Ryan pursed his lips as he struggled to get words out. "I didn’t know that you liked me that way."

    Jeremy's head shot up to glare at him, immediately livid at the mere mention of the incident, balling his fits in stymied anger as he spat out, "Past tense. Liked. Not anymore. I’m cured now. You somehow managed to infect me with gayness, and now it’s gone. Poof." Jeremy mimed flinging something into the air behind him. "I have nothing left to say to you about, so why don't you just screw off back to your prancing fairy club."

    Ryan flinched slightly but held fast, "I’m not here to judge your, frankly, terrible life choices, but both you and I know that’s complete bullshit - it's not something that can be cured."

    Jeremy snarled back, "I am living proof that it did. I don’t give a flying fuck about what you think - "

    "Fine." Ryan waved his hand to promptly cut off Jeremy’s rant. "Live in denial about who you are all you want. But that’s not what I’m here to talk to you about. So if you would just shut up and let me talk, this can all end a lot quicker." Jeremy fell silent, his eyebrows raised high as if daring Ryan to speak.

    Ryan shuffled his feet, scuffing them against the ground as he mustered up the courage to say, "When you kissed me that night, I’ll admit… that I didn’t hate it. You know what, I thought it was quite nice, and I couldn’t place why exactly I felt that way. Somewhere along the way from you being a jackass to you being less of a jackass, you grew on me in a way that I can’t quite explain."

    "Eventually I realised…" He took in a deep breath, anticipation creeping up his throat as he readied himself to speak. "I think I like you too, Jeremy. I care about you in this strange new way that I haven’t felt for anyone before. This dark, mysterious, thrilling sensation that I get when I’m with you, it’s…unexpected, but something I didn’t necessarily realise that I wanted. I guess deep down I’ve just been kidding myself when I've tried to force my thoughts away, and I’m assuming that it’s been the same for you."

    A lump formed in Jeremy’s throat. "Please hurry up and wrap up your dramatic monologue, showman. I’ve got places to be," the slightly raised pitch of his voice underlying his throwaway tone.

    Ryan elaborated, "Look, this was never going to be easy for either of us, regardless of what happens between us; we’re going to spend our whole lives being discriminated against, and there’ll be no one to protect us but ourselves. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with how we feel but," Ryan waved his hands, gesturing to the seemingly far-away crowds of students, "what do I know? All I know is that I might as well be happy being myself."

    Reaching back to scratch his head, Ryan then muttered out, "So, uh, I think it’d be really great, um, if you were my boyfriend. If you’re okay with that," the corners of his mouth turning up into a genuine yet apologetic smile as he fumbled over those last few words.

    For a good while, Jeremy just stood there, staring at the pavement behind Ryan, trying to process what he just heard. Was he... asking him out? That couldn’t be it, because how could someone whom he had picked on, whom he had tormented day after day, ever feel that way about him?  No, Jeremy thought to himself, he's just saying this to try and get in your head, lure you in with his false promises, and abandon you once the world is against you. Exactly as you had done…

    For a moment he restrained the unbridled romantic in him, the small figment that just wanted to take a leap of faith and accept, that they could somehow weather the consequences together. And then Jeremy found the words to respond. “No. No, no, no, no, no, you don’t. I don’t like you, you don’t like me back, in any way, shape or form. Because I am Jeremy, I am the king of the school, and you’re just some pathetic, worthless piece of forgotten trash that no one actually cares about,” his voice swelling in anger and hatred with every word, rising into a crescendo. “You may be fine being a cocksucker, but I’m not, and I will not have you dragging me through the mud with shit like yourself,” his words morphing into a vehement snarl.

    “And you know what, some things have changed, but some things will always stay the same. I am, and will always be, better than you,” he jabbed at Ryan, forcefulness punctuating every word. “And that is why this,” he waved his hand back and forth in the space between the two of them, “this is never going to be a thing.”

    Just as Jeremy prepared to march off, another thought popped into his mind, a look of malice crossing his face, “On the bright side, you won’t have to tell anyone you’re a fucking faggot: I already did that all for you. No thank you? Fine. Scram, you piece of shit,” forcefully spitting out every word.  

    And with that, Jeremy turned away, his footsteps thundering adjacent the ground as ran off, leaving a wordless Ryan behind him.
Extract from the ending of my story-in-progress, "Made to Be Broken", set in 1970s Texas. 

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