R.j.Elsewhere

Australia

In every bit of truth, my writing is pretty terrible and by being here, I hope to improve it. Anyways, all you have to know about me is that I love coffee, my cat, and food, and of course, writing and reading. And I hate the way 'Lemon' is spelt.

Message from Writer

Say it, and risk the humiliation; scream it, or whisper, or write it - even paint it on your skin. Just say it . All you're afraid to speak, do it with a shaky voice, and small trembling hands - and say it. Say it with your last breath, be it faint, and whisper thin, or meet death quietly. Let it fall off your lips, and rid the air of its emptiness. Say it. I am a nerd.

I hope you stop calling your mother a terrible mother

November 7, 2018

FREE WRITING

10
“I have a terrible mother.”
 
 
O’ friend,
O’ oblivious friend,
O’ ungrateful friend,
 
I hope when you say to your mother I don’t want to go to school today, mama, she listens to you. To the weight of which your words hold within the air, how they drag down your voice until it is nothing but a ghost’s breath; the woeful whispers of a dead soul. I hope she notices how you pronounce each word as if they cause you to pull a tooth out with every syllable, ripping gum, shredding flesh, leaving you raw and red and ready for the pain to end; for the last tooth to be pulled out and left for dead.
 
God I hope that your mother never looks at you and scowls at the black beneath your eyes, snapping at you because of each of your yawns, you wouldn’t be so tired if you didn’t stay up so late! You’ve told her before about the nightmares and memories which stalk you while you sleep, or the anxiety and trauma which play record-broken within your mind about the small things, which turn to big, bad things within the mechanics of your very mind. You tell her, but she doesn’t listen. And God, I hope that she would listen – that she would take you into the crooks of her arms and hold you. Hold you near and hold you good. Hold you until you fall into a no-dream sleep, of no fright nor scare, no worries to chew on, or concerns to keep your hands at shake.  
 
I hope that when you break down on the floor of your kitchen, throat heavy with bile, your mother doesn’t throw you a disgusted glare – I hope she doesn’t threaten, vomit on my floor and I’ll fucking rub your face in it. I hope you never have to see the ball of your mother’s fist coming after you night after night after night. I hope that you’re never chased out from within your own home at 1am, knowing that if you stayed, a beating would be an act of mercy. I hope that you never stay up at night, wondering which kills the little girl inside of you more – the words, or the whippings?
 
I hope you never have to listen to your mother say I’m not your mother anymore…
 
O’ friend,
O’ oblivious friend,
O’ ungrateful friend,
I hope you never know what a ‘terrible’ mother really is.

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  • November 7, 2018 - 4:34am (Now Viewing)

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7 Comments
  • DisdaininurSmile

    I only know R.j.Elsewhere


    about 1 year ago
  • DisdaininurSmile

    Extension English Who


    about 1 year ago
  • Johanna

    I'm speechless.


    about 1 year ago
  • LackingASocialLife

    Amen. Like I said in my "Disrespect comes with age: parenting" piece, (Before it got taken down), my parents treat me poorly, but they're not the worst- nor terrible- because I know there are people living life with parents exactly how you describe. This is beautifully written, thankyou.


    about 1 year ago
  • fatpanda

    Wow... I've got no words


    about 1 year ago
  • Araw

    This was just... heartbreaking.


    about 1 year ago
  • Anha

    Oof, future aunt-hood ain't treating you right my dude


    about 1 year ago