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A beautiful speech. I liked the first sentence, and the way It reels you in with
This is a very eye - opening speech! Love it! But you could add a bit more "meat" to the speech, and add more points (sorry, I am kinda critical at times :)) But well done!
Maybe you could show more about the bigger picture?
Don't give up! No doubt you will end up with a beautiful speech!
I wish I could listen to you give this speech!