Peer Review by AminahMcBina (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?

My First Crush

By: Deleted User


I was in Jamaica, I was in the third grade.  My family and I were staying at a resort in Montego Bay, a tourist place in Jamaica.  At the resort, there was an enormous pool.  Of course, I spent a ton of time there, and I got to know some of the other people staying at the resort.  One of them was SUPER HOT.  She was about three years older than me, with a sister about a year older than me.  We both played soccer.  Sadly, she left halfway through the week, so we didn't get too much time to connect.  Also, nothing could have happened, since she lived halfway across the country from me.  This story was nowhere near my most interesting story, but I have to start at sort of the beginning.

Message to Readers

Literally, whatever the fuck you want.

Peer Review

The entire piece delighted me, as I always love reading pieces talking about a past trip or vacation.

I'd like to know the name of the girl, "she lived halfway across the country from me." Where did she live (Like what state, city, or country)?

Reviewer Comments

Well done on your first piece. Keep writing, and your works will improve!

Always write free,