Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Here it is! The very first part of the novel I've been working on for the past three months.
Please criticize it VERY harshly. Don't worry about hurting my feelings. According to my sister, I don't have any :D
When the boy in black clothing was introduced, along with his description, I instantly knew that this scene was going to go one of two ways. Either Chris was going to be beat up, or get some choice words spat in his direction. But neither of those two scenarios took place.
I think Chris' dialogue made him seem realistic, you'll see highlighted parts that I marked up. I think what speaks the most is the fact that he is bitter about his father's death, and has to adjust to a a whole new lifestyle. He seems to be apprehensive, but also curious. This seems to be pretty
The scene that I want to see expanded is the interaction between the guy with the twisted leg and Chris. Though the single interaction they did have was weird..I would want to see what that Kid would say to him.
I sense that this novel takes place in an ordinary town where nothing is ordinary. It may seem like a cliche, but it really speaks to me.
This needs work, but you have a good plot going. I commend you for that.
I'm definitely going to be reading the rest of theses chapters. Binge-read it, probably.