Peer Review by CCReed (United States)

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First Kiss

By: AbigailSauble


FREE WRITING

Sometimes you don't know how much of an impact you make on people. 
   And when Samuel Plett explained it to me (he was quite thorough about it)...

I didn't see it coming.

My school had taken a bus to see the new Egyptian artifact museum two towns away. I'd always been fascinated by ancient mythology, so of course I went along. My best friend, Sarah Matthews, was my seat-mate, and we chatted the entire way. 
   We kept by each others' sides nearly through the entire exhibit. And an exhibit it certainly was, for I had never been awed by anything better in my whole life. So I suppose it was little wonder that my group accidentally went on without me, and I was left gazing at a particularly old slab of stone with hieroglyphs carved across its face. 
   "Hope?" 
The small voice echoed in the large room, and I flinched. I'd completely forgotten that the world existed. I turned around to face the speaker. 
"Yeah?" 
   It was Samuel Plett, looking more worried and uncomfortable than I had ever seen him. He ran his fingers through his light brown hair; his eyes avoided mine. 
   "We need to catch up with the group." Why was he so jittery? 
"Okay. Sorry, I got carried away." I flashed him a smile, hoping to encourage one out of him, but instead, our eyes connected, and his seemed to wilt.
   "Samuel, are you okay?" I took a step toward him. I'd never seen him like this. Maybe he didn't like Egyptian relics. Which didn't explain why he would come to a museum for that very thing. 
"Hope." He whispered my name weakly. 
   I reached my hand out towards him, ready to hold him steady if he swayed. Was he going to faint? He was about six inches taller than I was, and my mom always called me 'skinny as a broom handle'. There was no way I was going to be able to hold him up if he toppled over. 
   I searched his gray eyes, and suddenly, something fierce blazed in them. I glanced towards the door that the school group had walked out through minutes ago. 
   "Maybe we should catch u-" 
Abruptly, Samuel stepped forward and encircled me in his arms. I was so startled, I couldn't speak for a full ten seconds. He held me tightly, as though he didn't want to let go. 
I let out a whispery chuckle. "Uh, Samuel, don't break me, okay?" 
   Then he let go, and I could breathe again. I didn't care what anyone said about how musty museums were, they seemed to have plenty of fresh air to me. 
   Samuel's face was very close to mine. I could feel his warm, ragged breathing. Being this near, I could see the gold flecks in his eyes. His gaze dropped to my mouth, and I knew what he was thinking. Is he going to kiss me? Heat seared my cheeks at the thought. 
   I'd never been particularly attracted to Samuel, even though he was handsome and tall and probably every girl's dream. I'd always been nice to him, and he'd seemed almost indifferent; shy. I'd never thought anything of it. Until now.
   Samuel leaned down; his lips brushed against mine. He was much more tentative with the kiss than when he'd hugged me a minute ago. Even though I wasn't exactly touching him, I knew that he was tensed; ready to spring if I so much gave him a hint that I was upset or scared about this. 
   He leaned in to deepen the kiss, and I complied. It was so sweet and soft, and ended all too quickly. 
He pulled away, and ran his fingers through his hair.
   I watched his eyes dart towards the room's exit.
"We should catch up with the rest of the group." I couldn't speak in anything louder than a whisper. Did Samuel steal my voice? 
   "Yeah." He closed his eyes. 
I hesitated. "Samuel?" 
He looked at me; worry etched in his face again. 
   I smiled a little shakily. "I liked it. Don't apologize." 
After a long moment, he slowly exhaled, and the hint of a grin perked up the corners of his mouth. "Yeah." 
"C'mon. Before an Egyptian mummy comes after us." I tried for more confidence in my voice. 
   "Or Mrs. Truman." Samuel sent me a real smile. 
We laughed together as we went in search of our school group. 

Whenever I saw Samuel after that, our eyes would connect in a sort-of secret glance, and I'd remember my first kiss. 
   And somehow, I couldn't help but hope that he would do it again.
   
   


Peer Review

I really liked how simple it was- not some complicated scheme of Samuel's to kiss Hope. He had obviously thought about it and possibly planned it out, but i wasn't overly romantic like the movies and his closer to real life.


I'm not really sure I understand where the context of the second sentence came from. For a second I thought Samuel Plett was about to narrate. Maybe make that more clear that Hope is speaking at the beginning, not Samuel?


Reviewer Comments

As i already mentioned, I love the simplicity. Great work!