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Wanderer5105

United States

Message to Readers

For Noah and his terrible computer issues.

The Dreese Puns Assemble- Part 3

April 21, 2016

FREE WRITING

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       "Aughhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Jawn screamed in pure agony. His best friend, Nora, charged into the room with a great battle cry, sword at the ready to defend her friend from whatever onslaught of beasts could be causing him such pain.
       "Get back fowl swi-" Nora screamed, cutting off short when she saw that Jawn was still intact except for the hair he was in the process of wrenching from his head. "You are clearly not beset by foul beasts from the unholy pit, so just why are you screeching like a dying Orc?"
       "WHY! WON'T! YOU! LET! ME! IN! YOU! STUPID! MACHINE!" Jawn bellowed at the computer on his desk, punctuating each word by smacking his head on the keyboard.
       "Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah! Hold up!", she exclaimed grabbing the keyboard from him. "I appreciate the valiant fervor thou hast summoned for thine assault lieutenant, but....... what in Magni's name did that keyboard do that merits such a fierce onslaught?"
       "Wha?"
       "I see I must speak plainly due to the wound your head sustained in thine battle. I shall rephrase. What the heck dude?!" Nora shouted at the dazed Jawn.
      "Oh hey Nora," Jawn said dizzedly. "I don't think I'm up to battle talk right now. Can I have my keyboard back?"
      "No! I don't want to have to take you to the hospital!"
       "Then can you get my evil computer to accept my dreeseword? I've been trying for the past half hour! I don't get what's wrong with!"
       "Ah Dreese, I think I see the issue," Nora said staring at the keyboard. She flipped it around for Jawn to see the single glowing green light just above the words caps lock.
      Jawn stood up quietly, walked to his bookshelf, pulled out War and Dreese and thwacked it sharply againsist his skull.
      "By my blade Jawn. You are such a literary drama king," Nora said laughing. " Get over here lieutenant and I'll help you type it in."
      "I am so a higher rank than that."
      "Fine, Blademaster, let's get this fixed"
      "Aye, Archmage," Jawn replied, chuckling.
     Jawn slowly and triumphantly typed in his dreeseword. The screen glowed in acceptance........... and then turned black. Jawn's face immediately contorted to one of utter anguish and then a confused terror as the screen switched to the infinitely terrifying black operating screen of total doom with bright green lines of text flashing across the screen at a guilt inducing speed.

DREESE'SPEANUTBUTTERCUPSDREESE'SPEANUTBUTTERCUPSDREESE'SPEANUTBUTTERCUPSDREESE'SPEANUTBUTTERCUPSDREESE'SPEANUTBUTTERCUPSDREESE'SPEANUTBUTTERCUPSDREESE'SPEANUTBUTTERCUPSDREESE'SPEANUTBUTTERCUPSDREESE'SPEANUTBUTTERCUPSDREESE'SPEANUTBUTTERCUPSDREESE'SPEANUTBUTTERCUPSDREESE'SPEANUTBUTTERCUPSDREESE'SPEANUTBUTTERCUPSDREESE'SPEANUTBUTTERCUPSDREES
    "NO! No, no, no!” Jawn shouted as he begadn to rip his hair out again.
“Hold on,” Nora said with an edge of fear in her voice. “I don’t think this is just your computer. Grab your weapon, Jawn, and prepare to fight! This isn’t going to end well!”
    Jawn didn’t understand what was happening but if anything, he trusted Nora’s judgement and grabbed his weapon bag pulling out his broadsword while slinging the bag on his back. He and Nora stood back to back against whatever onslaught his computer might unleash upon them.
    Then the desktop menace began to crackle with electricity and a new message flashed across the screen: DREESELIGHTNINGDREESELIGHTNINGDREESELIGHTNINGDREESELIGHTNING
    A huge bolt shot out of the computer and struck the pair and they disappeared from this realm.

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  • April 21, 2016 - 3:17pm (Now Viewing)

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