Peer Review by Aarushikrishnan (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


#firstraycontest - Humanities Second Chance

By: Kitty Cheshire


FREE WRITING

    The first ray of sunlight that came up that day, turned my gut to stone.
    We all knew this day would come we just hoped it wouldn't have been so soon. The sun rising was purple, and the rain that started was really just drops of blood. Bright red coating the Earth. Everyone went into a panic. Running trying to escape the fate at hand, but I just stood there. Wondering how nature in all it's glory could turn against one of it's creations so completely. 
"Emily!," cried out my mother as everyone turned on everyone, new blood, fresh blood covering the ground. Out worlds destruction as we knew it, or more correctly our species extinction. I just wish I had more then ten years to live. My mother was killed right before my eyes, by my own father. What's gotten into everyone.
    "Stop! Stop what your doing can't you see we're just killing ourselves off!," I scream hoping that someone would hear me and just stop. Nobody did. "Please I'm pleading with your nature. Please, give humanity another chance. Yes, I know we're human. Yes, I know we'll blow this second chance. Yes, I know we've been destroying the trees for wood and killing more animals then we need to eat, but your forgetting one thing. We are also your creations and I'm sorry we've acted this way. Please, I'm begging you, give us another chance." I went from whispering to screaming and begging. With those last words the blood rain stopped, the sun went back to shinning yellow, and everyone fell into a quiet sorrow at the destruction at their feet. Humanity was given another chance, and from then on we only took what we needed. Eventually, it would repeat it's self but for now all is well, for the most part. 
    Everyday since that one I look at the first rays of sunlight, and I'm thankful to nature for not destroying us...

Enjoy! I want to know which theme you got from this. There seemed to be multiple as I was writing it. If you think of a more fitting title let me know. :D

Message to Readers

<3 Enjoy! <3


Peer Review

I loved how ambiguous this was. It kept me asking for more, constantly, which takes a very talented writer to do!


I'd maybe like a little bit of backstory. Perhaps you could write a second part to cover it? But like I said, the ambiguity makes this piece wonderful!


Reviewer Comments

This was a lovely read, thank you so much for participating in my contest. You are a very talented writer, please never stop writing!