Peer Review by Christy Wisdom (United States)

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On the Brink of Decay

By: Xiomara_The_Great


SIGHT: The vivid colors of Autumn spilled into the welcoming front room. The paintings lined up in a row blared for her attention. They were left neglected as her eyes found the darkened, dirty flooring. These colors were better. These blackened whites and grays.
They were more comforting than the yellows and oranges. Than the blues and purples. The splatter of black could wash them all away within an instant. It was powerful, dark, and most importantly, lonely. Just as lonely as her own poor soul.

TOUCH: The soft fabric falls between her fingers like a raging river of silk and linen. Eyeing the stuffed fox upon the mantle, she moves to its graceful face, studying the thin creature. Slowly, her fingers move to scratch him behind the ears. The tufts there were as soft as the fur coats the women at the church wore.

SMELL: Vanilla and lavender. When her mind had begun to decay, these were the scents they filled her with. Vanilla and lavender, warmth and happiness. Those were the two things that she lacked. Vanilla and lavender. With those two scents, she was whole once more.


Message to Readers

May I get a little help with sentence structure and my description. And anything else that needs a little work.


Peer Review

I think that your descriptions of sight and smell were really quite deep, especially your smell description. At first I was confused, but then I realized that what you were talking about was aromatherapy (sorry if I interpreted that wrong, but that's what it sounded like).


Really the best part of this was how you talked about the vanilla and lavender, and how "they" filled her with it to try to make her better.


Reviewer Comments

You snuck in little details really well, like how she is familiar with church. The only thing I don't understand was the silk and linen. Where did these fabrics come from? Is she wearing them? That was the only thing that I think needed clarification. Otherwise, really good descriptions!