Peer Review by engi_aek (France)()

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Equinoxes and Solstices

By: Misfit


FREE WRITING

The leaves,once a lush canopy of greens
Now dress in orange, scarlet,and gold
Vivid colors that summer cannot achieve
 Summer is great,but fall is bold

   Flowers bloom while yellow birds trill
   Sledders zoom on bright white hills
   Spring is tranquil
   Winter has thrills
 


Message to Readers

Hi, and good luck on the HSPT!


Peer Review

I really appreciated the richly descriptive words and phrases that you used all along your piece, that really brought it to life. I love your title; it's so intelligent and ties in so well, in a way that is not even too recognizable sometimes! I think it would be so cool if you also worked equinox and solstice into the poem somewhere!


I would love to know maybe a *why* on why each of the seasons mentioned has one that is better than the other. Maybe a phrase of a feeling that sort of describes why that season is better, or has a better memory? In a vague way, that could maybe be attributed to anyone, but something that could be personally yours.


Reviewer Comments

I loved the rhyme scheme throughout! It seems quite purposeful, but I did notice that it seems to be in an abab rhyme, except for the b lines in the second stanza. You could consider making those rhyme so that it is more uniform.
Just a note: your two stanzas are not aligned with each other (not sure if this is purposeful or not). Also, my personal suggestion is that you follow the same format for the second stanza that you did with the first, because that was wonderful: 3 lines of description, and then one line with the comparison of the two seasons.
I really, really enjoyed reading this piece! It has a lot of wonderful descriptions and vivid imagery, and you could add even more stanzas and I'm sure that it would be as delightful and vivid to read!
p.s. @OscarLocke has quite a few pieces that this piece reminded me of! Including a season one. You could check it out, I think you might like it, from your writing style I see xx