Peer Review by paperbird (United States of America)()

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Equinoxes and Solstices

By: Misfit


FREE WRITING

The leaves, once a lush canopy of hues of green
Now dress up in orange,red, and gold
Vivid colors that summer cannot achieve
 Summer is great, but fall is bold

   Flowers bloom while birds trill
   Sledders zoom on bright white hills
    Spring is tranquil
Winter is fun filled
 


Message to Readers

I don't know about the last rhyme. I'd like some feedback so i can work on this and make it better


Peer Review

I really like the idea. I've always preferred fall and winter over spring and summer, and I think that the idea is expressed beautifully in this poem. I particularly like, "Summer is great, but fall is bold" and "Sledders zoom on bright white hills."


Two things. Firstly, your spacing seems kind of weird throughout this piece. I think you accidentally put a space in the fourth line of the first stanza. I would change unless it's meant to be part of the poem. Secondly, you could always do with more descriptions. The ideas are great here; maybe you could lengthen them a little and add more stanzas.


Reviewer Comments

I loved reading this piece! Aside from the highlighted bits, it has good rhythm and flow and it really felt like the seasons. Great work and keep writing!