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Message to Readers
Any comment is a good comment.
"Jude was sat at the foot of the bed, faced turned to the streets and clearly smoking, the sheer white curtains swaying where they were parted around her as a mild breeze carded through her short hair and trailed ribbons of grey along the creamy walls." You have some really great imagery in this piece, especially in the way that you've incorporated color into the mood.
It has a very cool and relaxed feel to it. I absolutely love your use of color and adjectives. The whole piece reminds me of vanilla and peppermints. It also has an intimate feel, both sensually and just by the use of colors that you chose (like cream and warm yellow and grey.)
This is really well written. You did a really good job setting the mood and developing characters in such a short piece. I also like the ending; it's a good closing point and gives you a conclusion to the story without feeling like it's rushed. Keep it up! :)