Peer Review by stormguard798 (Singapore)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


By: Nonny21


"Stay. Please, would you?" She implored.
"Why? I can't read you any more stories Annie, three is quite enough. You should be asleep now," I replied firmly.
"The monsters may come!" she exclaims in a hushed voice, widening her eyes.
I grinned to myself a bit but stayed nonetheless.
She snuggled against her blanket, smiling sleepily. "Promise you won't leave?"
"I promise," I replied.
It was quite amusing that Annie made me stay because she was scared of monsters. It didn't surprise me because she was scared, after all most children that age are scared of the dark and monsters and what not. No, what amused me was the fact that she had me stay because she was scared of monsters. She had a literal monster stay with her because she was scared of monsters.
I giggled a bit.
How very ironic.

Message to Readers

So... What did you guys think?

Peer Review

I really like the ambiguity in the primary speaker possibly being an actual monster, or just a person with a very loose moral code, which leaves it more open to development. I think it has the opportunity to become really dark, or still be very light-hearted, esp. with the giggling at the end, so it'll be interesting to see where you take it, if you decide to develop these characters. Despite that, I feel as if you've managed to capture a complete moment in this short text that it would be fine left as is if that's your intention.

-How did Annie and the 'monster' come to meet each other in the first place? Is Annie even AWARE that the speaker is a monster? Why is the monster with Annie, presumably very late at night? There's so much to explore about the background between Annie and the monster.

Reviewer Comments

In direct response to your message, it was momentarily intriguing, but I felt it has the potential to become a lot more if it was developed.