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Message to Readers
I'd like feedback on the pace of the story (too fast, too slow, does it jump?) and also if it makes any sense- sometimes I have a tendancy to make too many allusions or inferences which can make the story hard to understand. Also, a random question, what type of guy do you think "he" is?
Wait, I'm expected to have friends? Who READ? Oh man, am I in trouble...
This piece is about the crumbling relationship of two people who still have feelings for each other but one of them has started interacting with his old flame, making the other wonder if she was always just Plan B.
At times, your dialogue gets really repetitive. I just get the sense I kept hearing "he/you left me" over and over again. Maybe use some synonyms or different phrasing? Definitely keep it in the dialogue but maybe you can cut down on the number of times the narrator starts thinking about it?
Alright, now that that's done: props to you for this story. You wrote about something really complex and did a great job dealing with all the confusing emotions. Your characters seem very real, and that isn't something easy to do. Maria feels less developed than the other two, but for your story, she works better that way.
You did a nice job incorporating the required line in the story. Marie's ending dialogue is good and the ending really makes the story.
The snow wasn't inspired by Snowpocalypse we New Englanders are experiencing by any chance, was it?