Peer Review by Cololo231 (United States of America)()

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My Present Presence was Gifted as a Present

By: Bruvton


FREE WRITING

The perfect gift is the gift of life.
A loving husband, a caring wife.
A life without pain, strain, and strife.
Maybe even happiness would suffice.

But the gift of life can go awry
If you hate yourself and always cry.
A loving spouse is pointless if it turns into goodbye.
A painless, carefree life spoils children 'till they die.

Joy is temporary, it often comes and goes.
No present lasts for long, which really blows.
No present is good if you're caught up in woes,
But if you give a gift to me, then anything goes.

Is it too much to ask?

Peer Review

This piece shows that life turns all better and you have fun with everyone with your family without any problem.


I can ask if there's going to be sadness in contrast to this piece because that'll make sense to differ from the original, positive one that will have a negative effect on your life.


Reviewer Comments

This poem is so sweet and satisfying to think about how better life is and you can enjoy it for the rest of your life without any worries, even if it means going through tough times.