Joann

United States

16 years old ~ high school grad ~ gap year~Homeschool grad~ daughter of Christ ~ Adopted ~ new writer ~middle child of 7~
Writing is the only release I have... it keeps me going, please help me get better at it.

Message from Writer

I recently started writing after I lost someone very special to me, they were my whole life. I started writing just to pass time, but it quickly started to become more than that, I started thinking about everything and everyone I looked at and comparing it to my life. I soon came to the realization that I am blessed, and I’m not alone... I have God. He turned something I was using as a distraction into a outlet, it taught me to more than just look at stuff, but to think about it, and figure out what it has to do with me, I believe there is a reason for everything, and that there is a reason for me... there is a reason for all of us!

Wall

September 24, 2018

FREE WRITING

5
They said that they moved on, 
they can think about you and not cry
they have the strength to listen to your favorite song, sometimes sing along
they say that you’re happy with your
”real” family
funny... I thought that was me
they can talk about you in a normal conversation
no tears come to their eyes
I don’t know how they have learned to survive 
I’m certainly not there
I still cry in the bathroom several times a day
and when they’ve all gone to bed
my wall fades away
ready to let out all the tears I held throughout the day
hiding my pain behind
my daily life
and when everyone is gone and I’m all alone
my wall falls to ruin and my pain takes control
I lie on the floor and I pour out my heart
I yell at God in anger for taking us apart
he is my savior, this I believe 
but my faith in this day in age is painstakingly weak
the tears run down my face like
Niagra Falls
I wake up every morning 
And start to rebuild my walls
hoping it was a dream, that if I open my eyes you will be here... with me
but every morning you are no where to be seen
just a throbbing headache and 
a wall to rebuild
Oh, my baby sister, you were only five 
it only took one summer for you 
to become my life
you were always strong, you didn’t need  a wall
if you felt something you would show it all
but I am not that strong
I have to have a wall
this one I will build ten times as tall
because if no pain can get through 
and I let no one in 
maybe I won’t get hurt again.
yesterday was your Birthday 
I cried most of the night
I hope it was amazing
no pain in sight
to my baby sister
I love you with all my heart
nothing could really ever tear us apart. 

B.M.B - Sep.23, 2012


 

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  • September 24, 2018 - 7:58pm (Now Viewing)

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2 Comments
  • Joann

    i.c.f.l.o.w.e.r.s
    Amen sister
    That and when they tell you to let go...
    I will never let go. I try to have compassion for the people who say their sorry, I used to be one of those people and that is all I could think to say.


    over 2 years ago
  • f l o r a

    this pains me to read..
    I lost a younger brother..
    I hate when people say they're sorry
    cuz they most likely don't know the true pain, of losing someone that young
    who has so much to live for
    but can't thrive anymore


    over 2 years ago