nezi_nes

Hong Kong

~on an indeterminate hiatus~

Message to Readers

I have no idea how you guys will feel after this piece ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If I lose myself I lose it all

September 18, 2018

FREE WRITING

4
“If I lose myself I lose it all”

I’m running. To or from, where or what, I can’t...I don’t know. I need to get out of my head. Get out of my head. Out.
Somewhere. Anywhere but

it can’t be found.
Turning, turning, turning
Nowhere.
Because I know I can never escape Myself.
But I still try.
I cant-
I’m running.


“If I lose myself I lose it all”

It is bound by the infinite, the limitless is the ultimate limit
It suffocates
Where is refuge now?
It smothers all, every thing
Particles choke and are choked, hunter and hunted
But I am the hunted

Can we ever be free from the weight of the universe?
No; and I become nothing

Yet, all is nothing
All and nothing fused together into a fabric of burden, oppression
We cannot escape
Never truly free
I still try to run.

Wearier
Breathing gapes of air


“If I lose myself I lose it all”

Can this running continue forever?

When even the Grecian Urn with all its timelessness and sterility
Falls short of Eternity’s dawdles across cosmos
What, then, is the use of running?
When even the fletcher’s zooming arrow denies itself of motion in mid-air,
every instant a frozen snapshot of its impossible sorrow
What, then, is the use of running?
When even the arms of an old maid tire of labour, and the most viciously-stirred pot of soup returns to equilibrium
What, then, is the use of running?
When everywhere you run is still under the dominion of the Universe
What, then, is the use of running?


“If I lose myself I lose it all”

It is more worth to accept
That separating myself from the constraints of this world
Will not happen
And that
The mountains
The wind
The smiles
The heartbeat
Is more than what I’ll ever need.

I sit down.
This was inspired by the song Runnin' (Naughty Boy, Beyonce), and "If I lose myself I lose it all" came from this song as well. Grecian Urn is a reference to Keat's Ode to a Grecian Urn where he admires the timeless quality of the jar/urn, but then rejects the idea of him wanting to be like it at the end, which I also based the structure on for this poem. The arrow is from the Fletcher's paradox in that if the arrow is stopped at a point in time it is neither moving from anywhere nor going to where it is, because if it did it would defeat the point because it was already there (you know what just read it up cause I'm talking too much thank you for reading this long-winded footnote gday to you) 

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9 Comments
  • aggressivebackflip

    Yeah...all hail


    over 1 year ago
  • omicron7889

    sneaky sneaky
    (can't expect me not to be cheeky)
    ;P


    almost 2 years ago
  • nezi_nes

    WELL THAT TOOK A TURN DIDN'T IT


    almost 2 years ago
  • omicron7889

    say maybe.... a bucket of liquidey love? Eh? :)))


    almost 2 years ago
  • nezi_nes

    Ahhhhhh thank you so much la you have warmed my heart and it's now floating a pool of liquidey love somewhere in the sky


    almost 2 years ago
  • omicron7889

    Say every emotion ever was a ball of yarn. Then you take some string from each ball and roll it all together to create a larger ball. That's basically the only accurate representation of what I feel after this poem because it's that good. In fact I read it a good half and hour ago but it just took that long to fully process it. Your writing is mind-numbingly breathtaking please never stop writing.


    almost 2 years ago
  • nezi_nes

    Hey thank you for the heartwarming comments! It makes my day. :))))))


    almost 2 years ago
  • SomeFormOfWriting

    Ah! I just reviewed it and read through it thoroughly and I love it so much! Your writing style is amazing!


    almost 2 years ago
  • SomeFormOfWriting

    This is the first I've seen with this prompt. Awesome! I'll get to reviewing ASAP. I dunno how long it'll take to get to you though, since it has to go through admins and whatnot.


    almost 2 years ago