Peer Review by ollieollie (United States)

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Assembly

By: Doktor Habit


FREE WRITING

    
tw: torture (is it torture if it's a robot??), death

~~~~~

Before he was anything, he was UNIT-218DR.
Like the other machines in the facility, he was referred to by the two letters at the end of his code.
This facility he was built in was a marvel, once. It had an observatory, a factory, an entire section of the building dedicated to experimentation and sciences. I do apologize if my descriptions are brief, I have not been to that building in quite a long time.
The idea of making the robots there was pitched by someone named Donec. He wasn't the type of person who deserved to be in the place he was. He was cruel. He was hateful. He was the first person 'Karma' claimed as a victim.
He claimed we needed them in case another land attempted to attack Paradise, which was a ridiculous thought. Centuries ago, an agreement was made to prevent just that. However, due to his authority, his idea wasn't pushed away.
These machines were manufactured with weapons instead of hands. With 3 guns on each, they could easily plow through some opponents.
Each machine was programmed with no emotion and no free thought. They had an AI that was supposedly set to where it couldn't develop outside of these restrictions.
Every day was about the same as the last. They ran different sets of tests, their weaponry was checked, they were run through a few things to make sure they were working properly, then it's back to the lines.
When a machine blundered a test somehow, it wasn't scolded. It wasn't told what it did wrong. It was painfully electrocuted for 7 seconds. The time it was shocked increased every time it messed up. This occasionally broke a machine, and it was simply tossed into the defectives storage near the conveyors.
DR was doing fantastic during one test--it was one of the 'agility' ones to see if the machines could be able to navigate a dangerous environment. I truly found this disgusting. They fired stones, bullets, occasionally cannons, they set up mines... Truly, truly, wretched. DR had teetered slightly on a turn and ended up taking a blow to the side from a cannon, throwing him to the floor. The test halted and Donec shouted a scold from where he observed everything. He slammed his fist on that dreaded button and the pain shot through the bot immediately. At that moment, something..clicked. Something changed. Something very different happened.
When the electricity ripped through DR, he screamed. A dreadful noise that caused Donec to shut off the punishment early. The machine was on its hands and knees, trembling. Was this..what the doctors didn't want it to feel? He couldn't..remember the word. Many things rushed through his mind at once. He wasn't able to think before. He wasn't able to..to FEEL before. DR shook his head in a desperate attempt to get these unfamiliar sensations out of his head. Hurts. Hurts. HURTS. HURTS. HURTS.
He was pulled from the testing room and practically dragged to Donec.
"DR. What the hell was that?!" The doctor's voice was raised to a roar.
The machine took a moment to respond, seeming almost like it was catching its breath.
"I do not know, sir."
"What do you mean, you don't know?!" He grabbed DR by his throat and pulled him over. DR was about to respond, but Donec's face turned cold. That expression on the bot's face..fear?
"..The AI broke. Toss it with the defectives." DR heard him mutter to the other scientists before he turned back to him.
"218DR. Shut down."
"No."
A heavy air hung over the room.
"UNIT 218DR! SHUT DOWN!"
What happened next would always be burnt into the minds of those who survived.
DR's face twisted into a scowl. In one movement, his weapons were pointed.
"I don't have to obey you anymore."
Where I was, I was curled in my coffin that the doctors called a 'cell.' They called me Karma, but I really prefer to be called Hazard.
All I heard was something opening fire and screaming, followed by alarms. I raised up a little and looked out into the hall. I saw one of the machines from the factories sprinting past, a look of courage plastered across its face. A stray bullet wound up digging itself somewhere into the machinery of my cell door, and..well, that's all I can tell you of the event, because the moment I was given the opportunity, I got the hell out of that place.
I can say, yes, eventually, DR was caught and shut down, but the damage had been done.
Soon, the lab was abandoned.
And eventually, DR was found again and reactivated. I owe Azul a lot for granting him mercy.
It's good to have him back, it really is. He's the only person from that lab I would ever consider a friend.


Message to Readers

DR's got a gun [clikclik] no docs, doc's gotta die [powpowpowpowpow] wake up with no hhhuuueɘᴜᴜᴜʜʜʜ


Peer Review

this piece, despite being set in a dystopia, is very real. it dabbles in topics that are in conversation today (not enough, in my opinion), and that are pressing issues that need to be addressed. i think you handled it with style, and it makes for an engrossing and entertaining read


a lot of the first half is introducing the setting, which is completely necessary, but also makes it a bit difficult for the reader to get into the rhythm of the piece. you have so much good material here! if you made it longer, there are so many bits of this universe that you could explore and describe


Reviewer Comments

one thing that i've noticed about your writing is that you don't pull punches. you write what you want to write and you write it how you want to write it. i really respect you for that.

great job!