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Luna Lemon

United States

My name is Luna Lemon (Or at least my pseudonym is). My favorite book is Harry Potter and my favorite show is Doctor Who. I also love the Lunar Chronicles, Hunger Games, LOTR, and Percy Jackson. I enjoy writing poems, novels, short stories and more!

Message to Readers

Feel free to write a review about anything you like or anything you'd like me to work on. Thanks!

look back

September 16, 2018

why did she

she saw my tears moments before
heard my shattered heartbeat

my screams
as the ripped teddy bear laid by my side

but she didn't
she couldn't

the car's exhaust left a path
that I could never
f
    o
        l
            l
                o
                    w

if she never cared for me
then why do i find myself
always sitting on that doorstep
waiting for her to look back

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15 Comments
  • Kahasai

    Ditto what Misfit said. The idea of a ripped teddy bear and waiting for someone who won't come is painful.


    4 months ago
  • Luna Lemon

    Sorry it hurts @Misfit! I'm glad this was engaging, thanks for your comment and writing it uncoventionally, XD:)


    8 months ago
  • Misfit

    this actually hurts
    but i can't look away


    8 months ago
  • Luna Lemon

    :) @2A,2H and 1D! Thx so much<3


    8 months ago
  • 2A,2H and 1D

    Packed with emotions..awsome work ...would love to see more of these...
    :)


    8 months ago
  • Luna Lemon

    Aww thanks for the feedback @Chloe_Cat, really appreciate it:) Keep writing as well!!!


    8 months ago
  • Chloe_Cat

    This makes me want to cry. Great job!!! Keep writing this rocks!!!


    8 months ago
  • Luna Lemon

    Thanks so much @The Great Gabs-by:):):)


    9 months ago
  • The Great Gabs-by

    This is so beautifully poignant. It's so short but it evokes so much. Well done!!


    9 months ago
  • Luna Lemon

    Thanks so much for your kind words @JediKnightGirl! I always appreciate them and I love the little details you pointed out;)


    9 months ago
  • JediKnightGirl

    There is so much history and grief in this poem. In five short stanzas, you have created two characters with emotional backstories and outlined their entire relationship. It's really incredible. The way you wrote out "follow" added so much more depth and then the ending just broke my heart. Amazing job on this piece!


    9 months ago
  • Luna Lemon

    Thanks for your comment @Nonny2101! They always mean a lot to me:)


    9 months ago
  • Nonny21

    This is heartbreaking but I love this. Honestly, it portrays painful honesty and its just wonderful


    9 months ago
  • Luna Lemon

    Your comments are always so kind @nezi_nes! Thank you so much, I love all the little details you picked out:) And yeah, I don't know if I should do :( or :) either.


    9 months ago
  • nezi_nes

    There's so much grief in this piece, and the irregular spaces make it seem like the character is sobbing. Also this "heard my shattered heartbeat" - amazing imagery. Good job :) or should I say :( cause it's so sad haha


    9 months ago