Peer Review by A Breath Into Silence (United States)

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Sinking Ships Have No Sailors

By: RedWriter


                                                       Sinking ships have no sailors
                                                        don't you find that
                                                        to be true

                                                        Sometimes captains
                                                        will rot at the bottom
                                                         of depths blue
    
                                                        But everyone else
    
                                                         They leave, don't they?

                                                            Don't they leave?
                                                        Why won't you leave
                                                            me roped to the mast

                
                                                            Captains were not made to leave their ships
                                                            Just sailors
                                                            sailors are better that way
                                                            float on

                                                            Let the hull drag it's mass down
                                                            try to get away
                                                            take whatever of the hoard you can make off with

                                                                Let me alone! 
                                                            don't you know, you must know
                                                                sinking ships have no sailors
                                                                there can't be two captains
                                                            
                                                                Go, please go
                                                                Don't you know? You must know
                                                                sinking ships have no sailors



                                                            
 


Message to Readers

Whoop! Writer's block begone!


Peer Review

The lack of punctuation adds a rhythm that gives the work an almost lyrical feel. If I'm being honest, adding punctuation would lessen the impact this poem has :)


The general lack of punctuation gives the few times where the writer uses exclamation points or question marks an extra significance. The sometimes rhyming stanzas give the piece a feeling off off-kilter speech, and better accentuates the stanzas that do not rhyme, giving the reader a sense that these stanzas are more important.


Reviewer Comments

I love how you continued the theme throughout the poem, and how you consistently repeated the main ideas through the stanzas.