omicron7889

Hong Kong

BOOMSHAKALAKAH

I hope you're having a good day :)

(also if you have any work you would like me to review, just drop me a comment on any one of my pieces and I'll happily review away)

Message to Readers

I honestly didn't really know what I was writing until I finished it, where I then went 'oh surprise surprise this is actually a poem about love didn't know I was capable of that' and that's what I'm delivering to all you beautiful people

Smooth Criminal #songtitlepoem

September 10, 2018

FREE WRITING

12
Stole her heart on the Monday train
Left her standing in the rain
Heart lit afire with butane
The burning desire, she couldn’t sustain


Smooth criminal,
Smooth criminal,
A thief of valuables who didn’t think twice

Smooth criminal,
Smooth criminal,
She lost her guard to the highest price


Tuesday came as she waited by the rails
She couldn’t chase, there was no trail
Deluded with, tales upon tales
Never let go, to lose is to fail

And yet on Wednesday she waited still
A quickly melting iron will
From Wednesday to Saturday she repeated the drill
And it was on Sunday that her hope was killed


Smooth criminal,
Smooth criminal,
She closed her eyes when he rolled the dice

Smooth criminal,
Smooth criminal,
She lost her guard to the highest price
The song is Smooth Criminal by the 'King of Pop' (a.k.a. Michael Jackson)

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  • September 10, 2018 - 2:45am (Now Viewing)

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10 Comments
  • omicron7889

    don't hurt me... no more


    about 1 year ago
  • aggressivebackflip

    what is love...baby don't hurt me


    about 1 year ago
  • Corner Writing Club

    Hey! Since the week is drawing to a close, I just want to reminder you of reviewing assignments! Remember that when you're done, you must comment on the assignment piece so we know; I don't believe you've done that yet, although I could be misremembering. Anyway, just a friendly reminder!


    over 1 year ago
  • omicron7889

    Roger that.


    over 1 year ago
  • Corner Writing Club

    Reviewing assignments are now up! Please read them so you know which piece to review!


    over 1 year ago
  • omicron7889

    Thanks for coming up with such a great prompt!


    over 1 year ago
  • Corner Writing Club

    Thank you for contributing!


    over 1 year ago
  • omicron7889

    Hey thanks to both of you! Always a pleasure to read comments from two fantastic writers. :))


    over 1 year ago
  • The Great Gabs-by

    I love this so muchhhh!! This idea is really creative and the repetition is truly effective in this case. Keep it up ye:))


    over 1 year ago
  • nezi_nes

    'oh surprise surprise this is actually a poem about love didn't know I was capable of that'


    over 1 year ago