Mona Ster

Philippines

Message from Writer

The woman who bled ink, died from words she couldn't say.

Rose #startingsentencecontest

August 31, 2018

FREE WRITING

4
"I never meant to do it", you said. 
You never meant to have met me, 
You never meant to smile at me, 
You never meant to laugh with me, 
You never meant to have me,
You never meant for anything
that had transpired between us to be more than what it seemed to be. 

"I never meant to do it", you said. 
Well, I meant it.
I meant it and you didn't.
And that is the saddest thing of all.
To love someone that couldn't even hate you, 
loving someone indifferent to you.  

You were a rose bush. 
Each rose signified how captivating you were, 
yet each had thorns that drew blood from mine, 
and the kid that I was, kept coming back at you,
expecting that band-aids were enough to heal my wounds. 
Yet it did not. 

So I'm sorry, if this blade of grass seemed insignificant to you, 
I'm sorry if I was not as pretty nor as wild, 
But I have never been sorry for loving someone like you, 
You were a simply just a rose bush who had thorns to guard their beauty,
who thought that pain was essential and that by drawing blood
You showed how you cared for me.

Many times, your pain only gave withering, 
Time and time again, you said, "You never meant to do it."
yet no matter how many times you cut off one thorn, there is still another. 
Until I became addicted with your pain
and then, you decided that this was your last season with me. 


By autumn, you had suddenly left
And my heart had stopped growing by then. 
By winter, I was feeling cold. 
Cold as someone whose heart has been punctured with ice cold blades.
The last remnants of you were covered up with frost, 
and I seemed to be alone,
just realizing the harshness of cold, 
when you're so used to the warmth of summer love, no matter how painful. 

It is so hard to be alone,
realizing that you had became a vine,
strongly clinging to whatever wall, love had to offer.

By spring, I had survived. 
I had survived and realized that it was time for me to start dancing in the wind,
that our seasons were ever changing, and I needed to keep up. 

I had seen you again, one time 
And I remember the days when I just look at you, admiring, 
remembering how it hurt the first time you drew blood, 
the first time I was scared to touch you again, 
the first time I sat there, writing on my heart like paper
and remembered how blood seeped on each page.
And I remembered how strong I've been to have survived without you,
when deep inside seeds of doubt constantly grow if I could ever do. 
Yet I did. 
I had survived, and I was ready to be turning over a new leaf. 
I was stronger and ever braver than before. 
I was now ready to accept the ever-changing seasons, come what may. 

POEM 
 

 

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  • August 31, 2018 - 9:48am (Now Viewing)

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2 Comments
  • Johanna

    This is so beautiful


    almost 2 years ago
  • rainandsonder

    Congrats on winning third place in the contest! This piece definitely deserves it. This is just wow. I really like it.


    almost 2 years ago