dreaming of goddesses, sunflowers and italian sunshine.
yet, every heaven has a hell under its surface.

write free, SomeFormOfWriting
miss you, LackingASocialLife
go be great, paperbird

Message to Readers

The embarrassingly true story of my one and only crush (I hope she never find this) for she's-got-a-story's contest #LoveOrSomething


August 25, 2018


i look through my old notebooks
"old" defined by the lack of use
even though it only filled up in july this year

on the last page,
i see words
i only ever wrote once;
their contents
filling only a few lines
the rest of the page left blank
except for
"i think i love her"

"i think i love her
"the way she smiles
"her hair
"her freckles
"i didn't think i could love anyone
"i think i love her"

"i think i love her"
i read, and, for a moment
it's like it's true again
the image of her soft smile
and the time i made her laugh through words on a screen
and the lack of french in my vocabulary

she is my friend's friend
a girl i could never hope to meet
through my own devices
her clothes
a thousand times cooler
than the hand-me-down hoodie i wear for comfort

a single conversation;
more than an hour
of a flurry of fingers
trying to anticipate what to say to impress her
or at least make her laugh

a single conversation;
a few words exchanged
we've never met
we don't have much to talk about
i'm not good at this

no more conversations;
inbox empty since late july
i like her posts
view her story before anyone else's
sometimes tell her how pretty she is
and how much i love her cat

i still think i love her
but it's a different type of love now
it's a dulled down love
the love-that-stays-away love
watches-from-afar love
the love
that never gets the girl

i guess it's love
or something


See History
  • August 25, 2018 - 10:41pm (Now Viewing)

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  • nezi_nes

    Wow. That's such a clever use of the meaning of the title, and it's so well put together with the character's stream of thoughts. I'm actually feeling this way about someone too, but only realised until you wrote this.

    about 1 year ago
  • rainandsonder

    Well done! This is an excellent poem and you can really feel the emotion in it.

    about 1 year ago
  • Nonny21

    This is so Cute!! Love this <3

    about 1 year ago