ollieollie

United States of America

Um......hi

Over the past year, I defeated a fear of other people, learned the value of clarity and brevity, fought writer's block, and developed pride in my words.

Now I am a writer with a love for onomatopoeias and an affinity for semicolons.

Message to Readers

I ship these two characters. HA

Any feedback is greatly appreciated!

Lost

August 19, 2018

PROMPT: FACT

1
    The world's oceans cover over 70% of the earth. 80% remains unexplored. The deep ocean is harder to navigate than space, and each year, over two dozen large ships are lost and never heard from again.

   "Think another storm will be hitting soon?" He leaned over the rail of the ship and looked at the ominously dark clouds.
   "Nah," his companion said with her back to the ocean, "those clouds are phonies. Look." She pointed over the water. "See those glowing spots? The sun is going to burn it all away in no time. It'll be eighty by lunch. I hope."
   "And I should listen to you because...?"
   "Because I'm the one with the degree in meteorology. And the optimist."
   "If I remember correctly, weathergirls are almost always wro-"
   She socked him in the arm. He laughed and resisted the urge to rub the spot. She rolled her eyes and turned around, beginning to walk away. "Captain set up a meeting for all officers at 1400." When he didn't automatically start following her, she beckoned impatiently. He quickly caught up to her. "We're gonna be going over our possible positions and future course of action. Maybe we'll make some headway on where the blazes we are." She glanced at him. "Cap wants you to bring everything you've been going over for the past three days."
   He sighed. "Why are you the one telling me all this?"
   "I was unfortunate enough to run into her at the coffee machine this morning," she snorted. "She's very eager to see what our senior cartologist has to say about the situation."
   "Thanks for the subtlety, Harris."
   "It wasn't supposed to be subtle. We need you to step up here, Nelson. The crew is all looking to you, and everyone wants answers."
   "Harris, I don't have answers! I have no idea where we are, and the last storm messed up all of our navigation instruments." 
   "Either way, no matter what's fair or not, you're expected to bring some information to the meeting today. It sucks, but this is your responsibility." 
   "It wasn't my fault that you didn't see that storm coming!" He snapped at her, jabbing his finger into her chest. "I'm doing my best here to clean up what you screwed up - the least you could do is give me a little support."
   She stared back at him, her eyes steely and face calm, just as she had during every other one of his stress-induced outbreaks. "Yes, I should have seen that storm coming. I've accepted that responsibility, and now I'm doing my best to make up for it and do what I can to get us out of this. I'm sorry that my mistake put this incredible amount of pressure on you, but that's the nature of our positions. We signed up for this."
   She started to walk away towards her office when he grabbed her shoulder. "Wait. I'm....I'm sorry, Sara. It was unfair of me to blame everything on you." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I just, well, I'm honestly kinda freaking out here."
   Harris smiled at him. "It's alright, Jake. I know you're stressed." She laughed. "Just make sure to take it out on me, and not Cap, 'kay? She might throw you overboard if you mouth off to her today."
   The look on Nelson's face was one of pure terror, which made Harris laugh even harder. She waved him goodbye and went to gather her materials for the meeting. He watched her close the door of her office behind her, then went to go try to come up with something intelligent-sounding to present at the meeting. 

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2 Comments
  • ollieollie

    Oh. My. God. This made me laugh so hard. Thank you so much; I knew it was currently missing something. Seriously, thank you for the feedback, and thank you for the puns :)


    over 1 year ago
  • rainandsonder

    "I ship these two characters". Lol, I get it. That actually made me laugh out loud.
    Anyway, I really liked this piece. This was just an ocean of good characterization and writing style. You need to be a bit more pacific, though, maybe add a little physical description, or description of the ocean/ship? And I'm not so sure on the tidal. Other than that, though, this is one of the best dam things I've read on this site. When I first read the thing at the beginning, I was thinking, "Why did the author include this? Water they thinking?" but by the end it made total sense.
    OK, I'll stop with the sea puns. But seriously, great work!


    over 1 year ago