Peer Review by SomeFormOfWriting (United States)

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November 2017 Vignettes

By: Lauren Nelson


FREE WRITING

November 8, 2017: The unnaturally dark sky amplifies the city lights as masses of cars perpetually entrap me. Rush hour: two miles per hour on the highway. I listen to a playlist I crafted for my friend; it is full of love songs. The quality of the night feels overwhelmingly unnerving. Every time I drive, there is a heightened risk that I will reach my early demise. I look behind me and merge in another lane, almost having forgotten. I live inside my mind. The music stops, and I am faced with a deafening silence. Please, don’t leave me alone with my thoughts.

November 9th, 2017: As I travel through the jet black city tonight, I am not alone. It is almost surreal, as my cumulative exhaustion mixed with the unnatural darkness gives way to a nebulous perception of time. What’s more, her captivating voice accompanies the unfamiliar soundtrack she chose for the journey. For the most part, we do not speak, but we are entirely comfortable in each other’s presence. Sometimes, I cannot control the smile that betrays my bliss. Now, this sensation occurs. I had never dreamed that I would experience friendship in this way. But, I suppose that sometimes, life can be alright.  


November 19th, 2017: Love extends beyond language, and family beyond genetic relation. Today, I spoke to my Russian brother. I didn’t get to see his face, as the video call did not work. I hated that I could not see him this year, as well as the rest of the children. They have faced terrible injustice, yet they are the kindest people I know. They deserve much more than the love we can offer, and they give it right back. As the call came to a close, I heard his sweet voice saying “I love you” in English. I love you too, Kirill.

November 20th, 2017: I never wake up knowing what way the day will go. Especially because I’m often out of the loop. How are you supposed to feel when your best friend makes a relationship official, especially when you’re quite familiar with the other half? Gosh, she’s so giddy. It seems that everyone around me is trying to date someone, dating someone, or wanting to date someone. I don’t know what I want. Maybe nothing at all. I guess I’ll figure it out eventually. Sometimes, I can read people like a book, but I can’t get through my own head. What an inconvenience.

November 22, 2017: Every time I visit my grandparents’ house, I am drawn to their typewriter. The machine has been out of commission for a while, to my dismay. I opened it up and dismantled the system, to a certain extent. Wiping the dust away and shifting around the intricate gears, I hoped for the best. I clicked the lid back on, crossed my fingers, and typed. Melodious clacks accompanied the dark letters gracing the blank page to that rhythm. The excitement in my grandmother’s eyes when I told her I’d gotten it working? Timeless. I fix broken things; I tell my story.

 

Since November 1, 2017, I have written a 100-word journal every day. I am posting my favorites here.

Peer Review

Your word choice was always on point and you manage to say so much in only 100 words. Incredible.


Since these are vignettes, I feel like there isn't really much more to ask for. Maybe more of how you were feeling during some of these events?


Reviewer Comments

I love vignettes. You have such amazing control over your words and sentence structure. Truly stunning. This was a review of the MyFormOfWriting Competition way back when, sorry it took me so long to review!