Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
PLEASE READ THIS REAL SLOW SO THAT EVERY LITTLE BIT SINKS INTO YOU PROPERLY. Wouldn't want you missing anything out. Enjoy!!! and feedback always appreciated:))
Moved me? MOVED ME?! I practically moved to Singapore to find you, oh great Gabs-by! No, but seriously, I think there is a message in here that once read (SLOWLY) can be understood. In a way, it reminds me of the master piece `The Little Prince'. A story that when I first read I did not quite grasp it until further re-reading. You've subtly introduced the losing ones innocence, much like one would ACTUALLY lose ones innocent. You barely notice it, until it creeps up on you, and you can scarcely remember being a child - young and innocent and blissfully ignorant. Once you take a step back it seems impossible to imagine that you once believed all the magic in the world, `Did I ever' really ties in with this. The Little Prince is very much about child vs adult and in your short piece you have managed to do the same. Well done!
I'd honestly like to know if there is a way to be brought back to your child-innocence. Is there a way for an adult to revert back? Or a teen? I mean, a teen hasn't fully immersed themselves into adulthood (though they act as though they do). To deepen the idea, I feel that you should perhaps stress on the child-like kaleidoscope view of the world. Perhaps adding on to the `fluffy clouds' and `blue sky'. Though, if you were to do this perhaps mention something that links to the soaring and sky, for example flying like birds or angels. Also, the view of the world from the less imaginative view would be awesome. What changed? You mentioned society is the one sucking out imagination but in your actual piece you haven't mentioned society doing the changes. Just knowledge. Perhaps focus more on societies impact? I honestly feel like this is beautiful the way it is.
I've said what I mean to say, the piece is amazing. I'm glad you asked me to review this because this was awesome. I know I'm pretty bad at criticism, but I just couldn't find anything I'd change.