Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
PLEASE READ THIS REAL SLOW SO THAT EVERY LITTLE BIT SINKS INTO YOU PROPERLY. Wouldn't want you missing anything out. Enjoy!!! and feedback always appreciated:))
The idea of it all. Our innocence slowly ebbing away as we wonder, 'were we ever different than we are now?'. I love all the examples you described in this prose such as the clouds not being made of cotton candy, the sky not truly being blue, and not being able to recognize ourselves anymore.
You were very detailed with this piece and I don't think you need to add anymore details. I feel like each paragraph could be a piece of its own so if you ever wanted to, you could expand on each paragraph and make it a new piece while still having the same roots.
This was spectacular! All the examples went really well together and I could really tell how much time and passion you spent on this. I'm excited to see more of your writing since your other pieces and this are really well done!
Q: Is this piece based on your experiences growing up? I know this happens to almost everyone - as you talk about society in the footnotes - but I'm just wondering if this idea stemmed from you growing up or just observations of humanity as a whole.