supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, I am afraid to disappoint, but my writing is atrocious

Message to Readers

there is some foul language in here so please read it at your discretion:)). thanks and have a nice day!

ThE nON-pErmENanT eXiSteNcE oF a pOtATo

December 23, 2015


We will all eventually die. That is a fact. All existence is impermanent. Whether it's Andromeda or some other freak scenario  that will wipe out the existence of our galaxy let alone earth, we will be booted off into oblivion.

We might actually just do it ourselves with all the destruction we've caused, taking down all species along with us down the drainage of non-existence, and fade out. Forgoten. POOF.

Not unless some weird ass alien race comes and treats us like the new dinosaurs and dedicate their lifetime to find out about the all important mighty beings that we hold ourselves up to be. And how they completely single handed lay committed mass homicide.


Well as you can tell this book is going to extremely optimistic! Sarcasm? Me? No no no no. Please. That's about as optimistic as it gets. The only thing cheery is the joke of " what the fuck am I reading" because frankly, this book is gonna suck. I might just put that as a warning on the front page.

WARNING: reading this book may cause immense brain damage and the significant decrease of IQ, those with IQs of less than 51 should not read this book for the remaining IQ decrease will be absorbed from surrounding people or beings in general, leading to the global decrease of intellect, but what the hell cos there wasn't much of it in the first place.

I am actually really interested to find out what the fuck might have possessed you to even merely glance at this book. The title, the potatoes or the picture of the dancing potato?

Fact: I like to imagine this book as an anglerfish, as much as I love them thanks to Hank green, they are friggin deadly. The potato is the lovely little light thingy; you delighted reader, the oblivious fish; and this book the anglerfish.

Boom snap a booby trap.

So what was it then? Or was it the painful don't which attracted you to burn it, but before that curiosity commanded you to read it first because who wants to be labelled as a discriminatory asshat for "judging a book by it's cover".

The font, actually, was a test. If you could withstand the pain of the capitalisation and colour and memories of school from the notepad, you should be able to cope with the crapness of this book in general.

Key words: should, able, cope
Hint: leave now this books seriously shit

Well, by now everyone should have put the book down or used it as kindling or recycled it (if you burnt it or didn't do something Eco friendly AND productive with it you better run because I'm coming after you- corals vs human, I'd rather kill human), so let's get down to business.

Hello! My name is -redacted- potato :-) I am a terminally awkward 14 year old with no idea whatsoever of why I am writing this book.

FACT: What the fuck am I writing.
Huhushjanmalqpqmjwjsjghghmmfmg this is gonna be terrible.


See History
  • December 23, 2015 - 1:07am (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

1 Comment
  • Fones

    I'm not sure why you'd put this up for people to read. Regardless of the warnings you provided in the paragraphs, you shouldn't be spreading negativity and cursing excessively on this site. It's clearly stated in the guidelines and terms of use. Most kids here are trying to improve their writing, share their work and read others' to learn from them. You sound egotistical and immature in this passage and it seems like you didn't even care to proof read it before posting some half-arsed gibberish. Try thinking twice before you do something like this.

    over 3 years ago