Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
i think the very first line already kind of draws the reader in. it's so simple, "My best friend Avery liked crows very much.", but from what I've read of you, i'm well aware that this is the buildup to something deeper, i just didn't expect to read what i'd read.
chills. shudders. this is an excellently executed piece. there is no surprise of scare or chills in this piece. it builds, creeps on you until you're all wrapped up in fear. it also left me with a little bit of bewilderment, like i wasn't quite sure what i'd read and how this massive eeriness came upon me.
you said you're sixteen? i...am not really sure if that's actually plausible. this is so well written, i can hardly believe that you're only sixteen. how do you come up with these ideas, and just how do you manage to execute them like this?
i've been saving all of my pure opinions until the very end because i wanted to actually give you some proper feedback instead of "omg i love it!!". this...is amazing. it gives me more chills than reading stephen king, and i don't know if i spelled his name right because it's late at night and i'm also now regretting reading this at this hour. curse my untimely ability to find great pieces. i like your kind of horror better than anything else i've ever read, it's so subtle, the entirety of the piece is so calm (albeit somewhat manically), there are no surprises or outright, in-your-face scares. it's dawns on you at the very end. your face blanches and you realise what you'd just read, and now you can't sleep at night. it's so quietly terrifying, and i both love it and hate it because i'm a scaredy cat.