Selfishness: something I struggle immensely with, I think. Something that defines me. Something that ruins quite a few experiences for me, and in most cases I am not phased by that fact. Another possibility as to why nothing lasts. My own needs, a selfish feeling of being trapped. What is it about this place that makes me feel so hollow and alone? Cold to the touch. Maybe I miss you, maybe I want to hug you, but my selfishness prevents me from believing myself. Eventually I’m going to magically have an alterior motive. Something that holds me back. An excuse as to why I can’t. A way to get out. Why do I do that? Am I that afraid? The game I’ve been playing, the game the world has been making me play. The role I’ve been forced to act out in this paradox called life. I don’t know what my purpose is, so don’t ask me. All I know is for the first time in a few years, I actually don’t want to be selfish. Is being selfish fun? Hell yes. But... Is it worth it?