Peer Review by kaydenblue (Singapore)

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Falling Leaves

By: etheryal


FREE WRITING

I took a walk through a garden.
Leaves all around.
Red, orange, yellow.
A sea of colour on the ground.

Some hang at the edge of the branches.
Waiting to descend, for days and nights.
Some are high and some are low.
All of them at different heights.

Then the wind blows.
The leaves drop off their branch.
F
A
L
L
L
I
N
​G
Like an avalanche.

This is my first time writing poetry so...¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Peer Review

"A sea of colour on the ground." It's a unique and very effective description.


A bit refreshed. The image you've painted is very soothing, but perhaps some adjustments to the punctuation may improve the rhythm - perhaps I'm just missing the reason why you've put full stops at the end of every line.


Was the personification of leaves intentional, and would you consider continuing that idea?


Reviewer Comments

Most of what I wanted to say is in the highlighted portions and the above questions.