Peer Review by Tofu(づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ (Canada)

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Under the sea

By: jap


"Did you stop for a minute and think about the pollution that we're causing. Every thought about the drastic consequences that we'd eventually have to face? If not us then our children, or our grandchildren. But eventually, the damage that we cause will catch up to us: unforgiving and unrelenting. Global warming is when Earth gets hotter and hotter because of pollution. What if global warming only affected a certain continent? Or what if people start living underwater? What if it only affected certain countries while the perpetrators were free to run around, drinking fresh water and still adding to the issue?"
“Mum! Did you just hear that on telly ?”
“ What?”
“Scientists have said that in a couple of years global warming is going take over this world if we don’t do something now of pollution!”
As soon as she had heard what had been said her face grew worried, the bright smile disappearing. A couple of years wouldn’t be enough for him because he would be in year six only by two years and a couple of years was so less he would only be starting high school or ending primary school. They had to do something now.Everyone started gasping at once
once. 
2 years later...   
“More news: Global warming is affecting every continent!”

Day by day the earth was getting hotter and hotter. Their only option was to either to live on an island or make a home in the sea. The problem with the island was that it wouldn't accommodate every single person. There were too many humans and not enough space. So, truly, their only option was to live in water. But first, before any of that could be done, they had the gargantuan task of making everything waterproof.  Engineers are now designing waterproof stuff such as phones, bags clothes etc and shops and buildings will also be waterproof and built under water.

There was plastic for waterproofing but it wasn't good so by the use of machines and technology the managed to provide new waterproof bags, clothes, phones, keys etc.

About two months later everyone shifted were they wanted. But for the people living underground they had to build houses with all the water proof materials they had. Everyone helped in making house, shops, banks, cars.The good thing about cars was that everything got powered by water, because if they used petrol underwater there would be more pollution and then even the seas, oceans would be polluted so there would be no place to live.
The houses were just like normal houses because on the inside it was normal like we live now and on the outside it was waterproof. Even shops had food like vegetables and fruit frozen and many more . first they had no idea what to do with the general waste of their food and then they decided that they would to the opposite now that since the land was all dirt they would build pipes through the water and put all their waste in bins like normal but the bins were connected to the pipes and the pipes would collect the wastage and send them up to the earth through pipes to earth.
If anyone wanted to play outside they would have to put on waterproof clothes but inside their house they wouldn't and when they needed to go outside they had pathways and parks with all waterproof stuff so it could be normal like they played when they were on land.
Schools were like before everyone went school nothing changed much but only a little on the way they lived. Slowly they made a reunion and started to build cities and expand on them as well.
Have you ever imagined how it would be like to live underwater?Or have you ever tried exploring or trying to live underwater? Maybe in future global warming might be stopped by the use or brains or the help of technology to not pollute our world so global warming can slowly take over our world . Maybe even living underwater might be a solution.  No one can predict or tell the future but we can definitely make a change for our future.


Message to Readers

Can you help tell me what makes a good story or overall what I should improve


Peer Review

I love the fact that the author is trying to spread the message: Global warming is harmful.


Humans could actually be in danger because of our carelessness.


The story idea is great but could be put in more detail. Things were just happening. There wasn't really any dialogue for us to understand what the characters were going through.
It was like... "On day 1, Bob had cancer. On day 2, Bob was dying of cancer. On day 3, Bob died of cancer." So how did Bob feel? Did Bob feel happy that he was dying? Or sad that he might never get to see his kids?


This story is great, and with a few tweaks, it could be even better. I can't wait to see how this story turns out in the end.


Reviewer Comments

To make your story look better to the eyes, I suggest adding an indent. I always add three spaces to the start of my paragraph as indents.