George Tom


Message to Readers

How does the style, pace and tone of the narration appeal to you?
Was it too confusing?


June 12, 2018

 ( This is a short draft of the longer short story to be published. There are very little traits of a story or even a character to evaluate its meaning. I've put this up to get feedback on the tone and style.)

Declassified Excerpt
Synoptically Enhanced Frission Induced Shock:  A Consequence of Rhapsodizer Tampering  
“Nishiguro, a Neura-Ware recruit, had been tethered to a rhapsodizer while he was working, and was experiencing an unusual piece of poetry in synoptic. The poem was neither a powerful one nor extremely emotional; much of what is amplified through a rhapsodizer cannot be, or the parameters have to be suitably adjusted.  The amplification factor had been accidentally scaled up to a precise ‘frisson criticality point’, a point where nearly all users experience frission—a moment of artistic thrill and hair-raising epiphany.  Most rhapsodizer manufacturers never admit that there’s a user adjustable critical point. They claim synoptic composers are the only ones capable of creating frisson points on their pieces.  Others say tinkering with a rhapsodizer is the best way to personalize the experience and that frisson is a person-dependent phenomenon. Nishiguro scaled the amplification even further and then something beyond frisson happened.
 “Nishiguro’s co-workers saw him slumped against his Predictive Ergonomics® work-chair.  They thought he was catching up on lost sleep.  Someone almost made a joking reference to Karochi— death by over-work—but The Predictive Ergonomics® Environment Monitor reprimanded the colleague before the joke was made. Nishiguro’s work status as Neural-ware’s star tester remained unclear until his Predictive Ergonomics® work-chair declared him dead a whole forty minutes after the karochi joke was thought of.
“Nishiguro’s Necropsy and wearable health data showed he died of a cardiac arrest after he went into unexplained shock.   
 “He was officially dead and Company Protocol demanded that Predictive Ergonomics® look into the matter.  Nishiguro’s work-chair was thoroughly examined and investigators concluded that its Predictive Neural Engine had experienced a ‘spontaneous time gestalt’*; a fancy way of declaring that the work-chair had seen the essence of what was to come, but simulated introspection proved any action to be futile vis-à-vis the wider spectrum of time. Neura-ware thought this was simply world-class rubbish, though the cited reason for the prediction failure was correct. Shortly thereafter, Neura-ware had discovered a rhapsodizer and the mystery: death by frission.
“CORSCM (Consortium of Rhapso- Synoptic Composers and Makers) amidst media reports of Nishiguro’s death said it was never officially informed of the incident and according to the group, it did not respond to baseless claims against its products and attempts to vandalize its disruptive technology.
 Rumors were that CORSCM had paid an unspecified amount towards Nishiguro’s widow and Neura-Ware.” 
*See Spontaneous Time Gestalt in Predictive Neural Mechanics, AI for You, Quasar Publications


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