Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
I really admire the subject matter because I think this is a big problem in our country. People always talk about the obesity epidemic, but it's really a symptom of systematic poverty and lack of education.
In this essay, you have incorporated a social and economic issue in our country, expanding it beyond food.
Like I mentioned in one of my in-text comments, I would like to hear more about grocery companies' arguments for not building stores in food deserts. Exploring their point of view may present solutions or further prove their greed. For example, if they worry about sustaining profits in a low-income area, could it be possible for the government to offer benefits (like a tax break?) to companies that build stores in lower income areas?
Yes. I thought you did well on that front.
This is a very well organized and researched article, and I think you have a real chance at winning this competition!
I really enjoyed reading this piece, and I wish you luck in the contest! I wish I could give you some more advice, but this entry is already very well written!