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Fate Chapter 1

October 1, 2018

PROMPT: Open Prompt

5
                                                         PROLOGUE
He was going back to a place he hoped he'd never see again. A place where he once called home. Alexander's eyes started to sting as the shadow of his past caved in. He brushed away his curly brown hair so he could get a look at his once called hometown. Buildings had collapsed. Debris was everywhere. It hurt to see Jevruk like this.

Alexander's life changed when he lost his sister Vanessa. Ever since then, he had become a totally different person. Alexander felt as if he had lost everything. It felt as if there was very little good left in this world. But as the hours turned to days, and the days turned to weeks, he learnt that the only way the pain would stop was if he left. All that Alexander knew for sure was that he had to get out of here, away from the pain, away from this life.
                                                            
                                                         ALEXANDER
The day I chose to leave was just like any other. I woke up, got dressed and headed out before anyone could notice me. The cold December wind pierced my skin the moment I stepped outside. The snow crunched loudly under my feet as I walked. Evelyn and I had made plans to meet down the creek. The creek had always been a comforting place for all of us to get together. Up until the thing happened. Now it was rareIy used. But the creek held memories that no other place could. I specifically told Evelyn not to mention us meeting to Amaya,Noah or even Hunter; I guess I just feel the most comfortable when it's just me and Evelyn, like it used to be for the rest moved in. Although she can definitely be quite the opinionated, she's always stuck with me. I kept my head down as I made my way through the fruit market. The strong scent of fresh pomegranates filled the air as it lured me to buy some. I rushed over to the wooden stall. "Hey Alex". I quickly glanced up to see a familiar face. It was Hunter. His mischievous smile was wider than ever and his emerald eyes sparkled with glee. It was so nice to see someone stay positive during these times. Ever since the creek incident everyone around me was different. I couldn't take it. They all acted like it was my fault.
Like I wanted it to happen.
 "Hey Hunter" I replied waking from my daze "How much are the pomegranates?" Ever since Winter had arrived, the prices went
through the roofs. Not many crops grow in Winter, so all the farmers had to raise the prices on everything to survive.
 "Alex" Hunter said, raising his eyebrows in shock "You don't need to pay me man" " Thanks" I murmured, as I picked one up. Hunter knew that my family and I were struggling financially. When Vanessa passed away we lost quite a lot of money to cover all the funeral funds. We had barely enough money to survive let alone pay for school. So, I stopped going to school for a bit, but by the end of the year Father got a job as an assistant at the local hospital. Not a high paying job, but enough for us. I started to make my way down to the creek. It was a short walk from the fruit stalls, so I was there in almost no time. The birds were chirping and the sun was shining; for a moment I thought everything was perfect. Then I realized how messed up my life really is. A father who rarely sees his family, a sister who didn't have enough time on this Earth. I'm not even going to start on my mother. No. My life was far from perfect. I looked up from the ground and saw the oak tree. I had arrived.



                                                         


 

     
Okay so I posted an earlier version of this, but I've changed it up a bit and might continue to do so.

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2 Comments
  • hibasaurus

    Wow thanks for the advice! I'll be sure to check out your piece


    about 1 year ago
  • ~Kate T

    Hey! For the Corner Writing Club, I've been assigned to review this piece and you've been assigned to review my piece "Who Watches Over the Heroes?" First things first, I love this story so far. The descriptions of the people and surroundings are on point. I thought the line, 'emerald eyes sparkled with glee' was a unique way of describing someone's eyes. Glee is also a word that isn't used very often- and you took initiative and decided to use more unique words. Chapter one ended on a cliffhanger- in an awkward place. Maybe try and start mellowing down the story before the very last line- let readers know that the chapter might be ending, and then... BAM hit em with a cliffhanger and make them want to read more. Overall, wonderful job and I look forward to reading more of your pieces!


    about 1 year ago