Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
"Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you're not really losing it. You're just passing it on to someone else."---Mitch Albom
So... I don't really know what this is, but I do know it's bad. I guess I just felt like writing something dark.
For, me the opening line. Its concise yet elegant and it hooks the reader right away!
Longing! This piece, despite the size, introduces obviously complex characters and a setting that I'm quite curious to explore.
Because of the scenes abrupt starting point, it leaves the reader with a lot of questions, but I personally would really like to know the context of the scene. Where are these peoples leaving? Why are they leaving? Why isn't there enough pods for these people? What made Briya and Tanya decide to sacrifice themselves?
I truly believe that this piece has the potential to be something amazing, if you took the time to expand and brain storm off of it. Please continue doing amazing work!