Peer Review by CreativeAngel (United States of America)()

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The Sun's Voice

By: camlily


PROMPT: Child Narrator

When I was younger, the sun spoke to me.
Its voice was smooth and creamy, so much so that I could almost taste the flavor of Nutella in my mouth. It spoke to me in whispers.  Sometimes I thought that the sun's voice was just made up, a way for my brain to cope with the death of my brother, but then the voice returned and told me that my disbelief was false. I believed it.
I remember that the sun would order me around. I would always obey, because I didn't know any better.
"Little boy, go fetch the water pail and pour the water on that ant hole. The ants told me they were thirsty,"
So I did, and got a whipping from my father for drowning the poor insects.
"Little boy, grab that paint and spread it on the house. It told me it wanted more color,"
So I did, and sat in the time-out chair for 2 straight hours for ruining the siding of my house.  
But there was one thing that I never did, even when the sun asked me to.  I would never look at its face.  My mother had warned me of the consequences; a world of darkness.  When the sun learned of this, it was all it would ever ask me to do. 
"Little boy, look at me. I promise it won't hurt."
"Your mother doesn't want you to see me because I'm more beautiful than her.  She's just jealous."
"If you look at me now, I'll never ask anything of you ever again."

The sun's voice followed me whenever I went outside.  I started to avoid the outdoors, and my parents grew even more concerned about my behavior.  They decided to take me to the beach to try to make me happy again.  I resisted, as I knew that there would be no shade from the sun's gaze, but my parent's decision was final.  We were taking a vacation.  
The sun seemed happy to see me again.  "Well hello, little boy, I've been waiting for you!" it whispered into my ear.  I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to block the voice out of my head.  But it persisted, and our "vacation" was torture.  The water was no help to shielding me from the sun's voice.  
Eventually the sun broke through my skin. Curiosity got the best of my young mind, and I turned my head towards the sky in the middle of building a makeshift sandcastle.  
My mother was right; the sun was blinding.  I could see a bright outline of a circle that I assumed made up the sun's face, and I was content to see the thing that had tortured my mind for so many years.  It was yellow and white and at the same time, all of the colors all at once.  It hissed a sharp "yesss" and I knew then that I had made an irreversible mistake.

From then on, my world has been black. I've adjusted quite well, and some days I don't even mind that my eyes will forever be blind to the world. But the sun is silent. 

It has stolen what it came for.
 
 

This story randomly came to me while I was brushing my teeth... I know it doesn't really fit the prompt, but it's pretty close!  Hope you enjoy <3 <3 

Peer Review

It is interesting how many temptations a child can experience.


"Little boy, look at me. I promise it won't hurt." because it tells me that the sun is evil and cares nothing for this boy.


Nutin (nothing)


Reviewer Comments

Amazing story! Told you you had inspiration even while brushing your teeth. Actually i never said that xD