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Mayzen

United States

I live in Kansas and love writing exciting stories, and lovable poems. I am 13 years old. I sing and play piano and clarinet. I want to be an author when I grow, and I believe in my Lord and Savior Jesus. I hope you will read and love my writing.

Message to Readers

I feel like I will never be the same. Is that bad?

To My Fellow Writers . . . .

May 7, 2018

FREE WRITING

3
This happened to me one day. I mean me "Mayzen", this actually happened. I had this awakening. It was at track practice, and I was trying to help a friend. He told me to leave him alone, that he was fine. But he kept sticking his nose and stressing about other people's drama.

I tried to help him, told him he could talk to me. Then his friends came over, and they started talking and asking what's up.
"I'll tell you what's up. I'm done with her." He said pointing at me. My mind went a thousand miles and hour. I was just trying to help. I thought. 

He and his friends were talking about how I'm to nice, nosy, and innocent, and that I need to butt out. My mom had always raised me to be nice, because that's what God wants. I still don't even know how it happened, it just did.

A girl who was a good acquaintance came up and asked if it was bad she felt 98% responsible for her father's death. Before any one could say anything, I said "I don't care." Everyone gasped, and said that was too far. I shrugged, and said

"Why should I give a shoulder for someone to cry on when I have no one but my bed. I am here twelve hours a day. I only get to see my mom an hour a day. I need someone else. I try to be nice, I try to help people. Yet no one does the same thing for me back. I try my absolute hardest, yet I get spit in the face. I'm done! I am tired of being the girl writing in the back of the class. I'm tired of being known as the nerd. I want a best friend, and the only one I have I can only see once a month." No one said anything, cause they knew it was true. No one stepped up and said I'm your friend. Not one. 

As fellow writers, I need help. Is it bad that I feel this way? Am I being dramatic? Is it bad I still don't care about the girl's guilt? 

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  • May 7, 2018 - 8:20am (Now Viewing)

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5 Comments
  • Saman

    Sometimes it's hard to do the right thing when others have different ideas of what that is. It is especially hard if you are the only one who sees the world that way. Through most of middle school I had friends, but no really close ones, and was also seen as the "nerd" and "quiet girl". Still, I tried to help people when I can, and eventually God and my nature to help people led me to who is now my best friend, and a number of close "nerd" and "quiet" friends that I've stuck with so far through high school.
    What I'm trying to say is that if you continue to pursue God and what you think is right, it will lead you to the right people. I am certain that some of your peers are just waiting for a friend like you to walk into their lives, it'll just take time to find them.
    (And about the girl- we can't help everyone. Don't push yourself to be selfless all the time. I know it's sometimes mentally and emotionally draining, and you need to make sure you're okay before you can help others.)
    Have fun on your path through life- God has a plan for you. :)


    4 months ago
  • Mayzen

    Thank you. I feel much better.


    5 months ago
  • 16missing

    It will be fine, I know how you feel and to this day I still feel responsible of everyone around me and that I have to somehow fix everyone's problems. When I found my best friends I didn't let them in, I didn't let anyone get near enough, I didn't let anyone be responsible of me. Please let me advise you, if anyone offers you help take it and accept it for what it is. :)


    5 months ago
  • Mayzen

    Thanks. I needed that


    6 months ago
  • Poohbear

    Mayzen, it is not bad that you feel that way. It's okay to be upset that you are always there for people and no one for you. The girl that came up to you wasn't your friend, right? Just another person who needed someone to talk to? It is not your job to always listen to people and help them with their problems. She more than likely had a best friend that she could've gone to or the councilors, so it's okay. You don't have to help everyone, you don't have to keep everyone happy, it is not your job. Also it doesn't work and you'll get frustrated and all you'll end up doing is blowing up at the wrong person. Just breathe, take a day for yourself, don't worry about other people, if anything make them worry about you, you'll feel a little bit better. Don't worry, it will be okay.


    6 months ago